Sunday, May 6, 2007

Julie's Book Chronology

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NOBODY DOES IT BETTER, Harlequin Temptation #772, Feb. 2000, isbn: 037325872 - OUT OF PRINT.

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THE CAT'S FANCY, Love Spell, August 2000, isbn: 0505523973

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RECKLESS, Harlequin Temptation #801, October 2000, isbn: 0373259018 (loosely related to NOBODY DOES IT BETTER) - OUT OF PRINT


APHRODITE'S KISS, Love Spell, April 2001, isbn: 0505524384 (first in the Protector series)

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INTIMATE FANTASY
, Harlequin Temptation #840, July 2001, isbn: 0373259409 (Part of the Fantasies, Inc. series with Janelle Denison and Carly Phillips)


L.A. CONFIDENTIAL
, Harlequin Blaze #16, November 2001, isbn: 0373790201 (Part of the Sexy City Nights series)

A MOTHER'S WAY, anthology, Love Spell, with novella: Seeking Single Superhero, March 2002, isbn: 0505524716 (Part of the Protector series)

APHRODITE'S PASSION, Love Spell, April 2002, isbn: 0505524740 (second novel in the Protector series)

UNDERCOVER LOVERS, Harlequin Tempation #893, isbn: 037325993X

NOBODY BUT YOU, Pocket Books, January 2003, isbn: 0743446046

SILENT CONFESSIONS, Harlequin (single title), April 2003, isbn:0373835892

APHRODITE'S SECRET, Love Spell, May 2003, isbn: 0505525097 (third in the Protector series)

WRAPPED AND READY, reprinted with Stephanie Bond's Manhunting in Mississippi, May 2003, isbn: 0373835531 (originally an on-line read at eHarlequin.com)

SILENT DESIRES, Harlequin Blaze #98, August 2003, isbn: 037379102X (loosely related to SILENT CONFESSIONS)

BEYOND SUSPICION, including Julie's novella DANGEROUS DESIRES Harlequin (with a reprint of Suzanne Forster's The Man At Ivy Bridge), January 2004, isbn:0373836317

STOLEN KISSES, Harlequin Temptation #969, April 2004, isbn: 0373691696

THE SPY WHO LOVES ME, Pocket Books, June 2004, isbn: 0743446054

WILD THING (novella) in ESSENSE OF MIDNIGHT anthology, Harlequin Blaze, July 2004 (co-authors Susan Kearney and Julie Elizabeth Leto), isbn: 0373836147

APHRODITE'S FLAME, Love Spell, August 2004, isbn: 0505525836 (fourth and final novel in the Protector series)

TODAY'S SECRET
(novella) in THE HOPE CHEST anthology, Signature Select, March 2005 (co-authors Jacquie D'Alessandro and Susan Kearney), isbn: 0373836457

THE GIVENCHY CODE, Downtown Press, June 2005, isbn 0743496132
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CARPE DEMON, Berkley, July 2005, (trade paper), isbn:

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NIGHT MOVES, Harlequin Blaze, July 2005, isbn: 0373791984 (currently out of print)


FIRST LOVE, NAL, September 2005, isbn: 0451216296


THE MANOLO MATRIX
, Downtown Press, February 2006, isbn: 0743496140
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WELCOME TO WISTERIA LANE (including an essay by Julie)
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THOSE WERE THE DAYS, novella in
PERFECT TIMING
, Harlequin, May 2006, isbn: 0373837038

THE PERFECT SCORE
, Harlequin Blaze, August 2006, isbn: 0373792735


THIS IS CHICK-LIT, including a story by Julie

NICK'S STORY, novella in HELL WITH THE LADIES, Berkley, October 2006, isbn: 0425211827


CARPE DEMON: ADVENTURES OF A DEMON-HUNTING SOCCER MOM (mass market re-release), Jove, October 2006, isbn: 0515142212
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NOBODY DOES IT BETTER, re-release, February 2007
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THE GIVENCHY CODE, mass market re-release
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THE GOOD GIRL'S GHOUL'S GUIDE TO GETTING EVEN
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THE PRADA PARADOX
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HELL ON HEELS
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EVERYTHING I NEEDED TO KNOW ABOUT BEING A GIRL, I LEARNED FROM JUDY BLUME (includes an essay by Julie)
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FENDI, FERRAGAMO & FANGS (includes a novella by Julie)
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CALIFORNIA DEMON, mass market re-release
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DEMONS ARE FOREVER - July 2007
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GOOD GHOUL'S DO - September 2007
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THE PRADA PARADOX - review




After reading The Givenchy Code and The Manolo Matrix, I was anxious to read The Prada Paradox. Julie Kenner surpassed my expectations on every level with this story. First, it continues her trend of fantastic, winning characters, suspense, and complex puzzles. The pacing is excellent and the plot never falters. Instead, readers are kept on the edge with one puzzle and conflict after another. The answers to the puzzles seem to remain just out of my reach, but always make sense once solved. Devi and Blake are a dynamic couple readers will relish getting to know. Her sense of humor and his unyielding commitment make their scenes rich in emotion. The secondary characters are just as engaging and made sure I was never quite sure which direction the story would go. Readers of this series might find some story elements in common with the rest of the series, but make no mistake, The Prada Paradox is an original story that will lure and maintain readers’ interest from start to finish. This is a wonderful conclusion that lives up to the standard established throughout this series.


Fallen Angel Reviews


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Wednesday, April 25, 2007

THE PERFECT SCORE - excerpt




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PROLOGUE

I never actually wanted to be one of those girls. At least not the sleazy, too-tight Lycra, jump anything that moves kinda girl. But I did want ... something. And I wasn’t getting it by being the girl next door, that’s for sure. I mean, when this all started, I was twenty-seven years old and I'd never even worn thong underwear. I'd never had cybersex. And I certainly hadn't ever done it anyplace even remotely public.

I guess, when you get right down to it, I just wanted sex. Good sex. Amazingly Good Sex. With a capital A, and a capital G, and a capital S. And, frankly, I wasn't getting any. Which meant I was on a mission to remedy that little problem.

You see, it all started with a simple New Year's Resolution...



CHAPTER ONE



"Eighteen percent!" I could hear my voice echoing through the cinderblock-walled laundry room. "Eighteen percent is for nuns and small children. Eighteen percent is not for twenty-seven year old single girls living in Los Angeles."

Carla yanked open the dryer and started scooping her pinkish whites into her laundry basket. An hour ago, her whites had actually been white, but with Carla, these things tended to happen. "I still can't believe you're so upset just because you got a crappy score on some Internet Slut Test.” She flashed me a look designed to underscore just how much she didn't believe I'd do something so foolish. Ridiculous, really, since Carla had known me since kindergarten. I was Mattie Brown and she was Carla Browning, which meant that fate had pretty much destined that we'd sit beside each other in every class until graduation. Being relatively pragmatic, we figured we could either be best friends or vile enemies. We'd opted for the friend route. At the time, it had seemed the more prudent option.

Today, Carla was probably having second thoughts, a supposition that quickly proved true when she pulled out a pale pink bra and shook it at me. “You’re as bad as you were in high school, only now you don’t have Angie dogging your heels.”

Angie is my stepsister, although the "step" part has never really been part of the equation for either one of us. We were both three when our parents married, and she's my sister, for good, bad or indifferent. And since we're separated by a mere four months (she's the eldest), we grew up sharing each other's clothes, coveting each other's boyfriends, and busting tail to outdo each other academically, socially, and every other way. I love her, but I've never stopped trying to beat her. And – damn the woman – the truth is that she usually beat me. In everything from boyfriends to grade point average. (In the latter, she edged by me with one grade point, taking the lead in our very last semester of high school, and wresting the valedictorian slot away from me. Not that I'm bitter or anything...)

I took a breath and tried to stop scowling. "I'm not trying to be the slut valedictorian. For that matter, it's not even really about the test. I mean, another test said my perfect job would be analyzing actuarial tables, and how ewww is that?”

“Very,” she agreed, and we both paused for a moment, reveling in the mathematical horror. “But if it wasn’t the test, then what?”

I shrugged. “The realization that came with it, I guess.” I paused for emphasis, then spit out the horrible truth. “My sex life is boring."

Carla’s perfectly plucked brows rose infinitesimally. "I thought you didn't have a sex life?"

So much for slipping one past Carla. "Fine. You win. My sex life was boring. Back when I was with Dex, it was duller than dirt. And now that I'm single again, it's not boring. It's non-existent." Dex and dumped me about four months ago, a little fact that had pretty much blown me out of the water. We'd been together two years, and I expected we'd stay together, ending up with a marriage and two-point-five kids and a dog.

Yes, our sex life (and the rest of our relationship if you want to get right down to it) had been spiraling downward, but we were comfortable. Or, at least I'd thought we were.

But my dirty little secret? Even though I was blindsided by the break-up, I wasn't all that disappointed. What I was, was angry. I should have been the dumper, not the dumpee. As it was, I'd completely lost face. With myself, even if with no one else.

With a dramatic sigh, I hefted an armful of white cotton undies out of my dryer, then frowned at the laundry basket, wishing it were filled with shocking bits of red satin and black lace. Underwear with a raison d'etre more provocative than simply keeping my private parts hidden in the event of a catastrophic highway accident. Like every other normal mother on the planet, my high-powered attorney mom's list of constant worries placed clean underwear higher than poverty, nuclear war, or starving children in China.

Too bad for me, Mom had taught me well. There wasn't a frivolous panty in the bunch. No satin, no lace, nothing even remotely Frederick's of Hollywood about my unmentionables. Not even Victoria's Secret. We're talking K-Mart all the way.

No wonder I wasn't a slut.

I sighed dramatically and leaned up against the detergent dispenser. "My sex life is boring. My clothes are boring. My life is boring."

Carla frowned at another light pink shirt, then waved the hideous thing in my direction. "Want a pink tee?"

What I wanted was to strangle her. Here I was having a relatively dramatic personal crisis and she was ruining her laundry. "Have you even heard a word I've said?"

This time, she really did give me her attention, and frankly, considering her scowl, I wasn't certain I wanted it. "Look, Mattie --"

"I mean it. I'm going to do it. By this time next year, I'm blowing the roof off that stupid test."

This time, she raised only a single eyebrow, a trick I envied mightily.

"I'm serious. That's my New Year's Resolution."

"There's an entire universe of possibilities out there, and you're wasting a perfectly good resolution on acing a sex test?"

"You want to say that a little louder? I'm not sure they heard you by the pool." I poked my head out the open laundry-room door, scanning for eavesdroppers. Katy Simmons, the retired actress who lived below me, was sunning on a lounge chair. The new tenant -- Mike Something-or-other -- was a bit closer. A genuinely nice guy, he was also the apartment complex’s resident nerd, complete with wire-framed glasses and a job that had something to do with computers.

As I watched, I could see him settle himself in one of the incredibly uncomfortable metal chairs, kick his feet up onto a tabletop, and take a swig of beer. I took a breath, surprised that my nerdish neighbor had a mighty fine body, lean and firm like a swimmer.

"Mike!" Carla half-yelled. "Oh, Mickey! Mattie needs a boyfriend!"

"Carla!" I grabbed the knob and slammed the door shut. "Are you insane? What if he heard?"

"So what if he did? He's cute."

I scowled, because he was cute. He was nice, too. I'd helped him carry boxes up from his U-Haul, and he'd happily shared his pizza with me a week ago. But Dex had been cute and nice, too. Cute and nice didn't cut it any more. Cute and nice conjured the dreaded "R" word, and I wasn't anywhere near ready to get back on that relationship hamster wheel. "I'm not looking for cute. Cute is for bunny rabbits. Not boy toys."

Another lift of that eyebrow of hers.

I sighed and tried to look put-upon. "You just don't understand. You're getting laid on a regular basis."

"So were you until you dumped Dex."

I shook my head vehemently, my ponytail whipping around to slap me in the face. "Oh, no, no, no my friend. I was only having sorta-sex."

She flashed me a skeptical look as she shook the wrinkles out of a pair of greyish-pink sweatpants. "I'm going to regret asking, but what is sorta-sex?"

"You know. Fridays only. Me on my back. After Law & Order, but before Biography. Routine all the way. Nothing spontaneous. Nothing romantic. I could put Tollhouse cookies in before we went at it and not have to worry that they'd burn."

"Oh. Well." She busied herself with neatly folding her now-ruined laundry, while I silently cheered myself for having a sex life so truly pathetic that I'd rendered Carla speechless. Scary, I know, but I take my victories where I find them.

"Well," she said again, and I felt my victory slipping away. True, I wanted her help. I just couldn't handle her pity. "That's not so bad," she finally said, in a you're-bankrupt-and-your-dog-died-but-it'll-be-okay kind of voice. "I mean, it was still sex, right?"

This from the woman whose boyfriend just might be a superhero named Erection-Man. Mitch would come over after work, see her puttering in her kitchen wearing a ratty tee-shirt and gym socks, and get so turned on he'd bend her over the table and have his way with her. "We live in different universes, Carla," I said.

To her credit, she looked a little sheepish. It wasn't like she didn't realize how fabulous her sex life was. But then, Carla's one of those beautiful people. Perfect face, perfect hair, perfect skin, perfect job. No lumps, no bumps, not even a tiny acne scar. Smart, too. The kind of woman you'd want to kill if she weren't so darn nice.

"Have you put any thought into when you're going to do the leg work necessary to reach this nirvana of sexual prowess?"

I made a face. Mostly because Carla was being typically Carla and reverting to what I call her adult-speak voice – which is what she does whenever she thinks anyone is acting like an idiot. But also because, frankly, I hadn't put any thought into my newly-announced resolution.

"That's what I thought," Carla said, making me scowl even more. "I mean, come on, Mattie. You've been working like a fiend for months. This is your first weekend off in forever."

That was true enough. I work at John Layman Productions, and if the company sounds familiar, then you're probably one of those people who watches really bad reality programming about celebrities that no one cares about anymore. Not that I'm criticizing my boss's chosen field or anything (ahem). I mean, it pays the bills. But, honestly, does anyone really care about kids who were celebrities when they were six, then fell off the map during the last two decades? And if somebody does care enough to tune in every night at eleven, then, you know, maybe that person just needs to get a life.

All JLP programs have excellent ratings, though. So either I'm wrong, or there are a whole lot of people out there with no life whatsoever.

In fact, there are so many people out there tuning in that JLP is adding five new shows to our already over-stuffed production schedule. And that, as Carla pointed out, is keeping me tethered to the office and, late in the evening, to my home computer. In fact, the only reason I have this weekend off is because the company's computer network crashed. Since John's currently following some stick-thin, party girl celebrity around Rio, he actually shut work down for a long weekend while the computer gurus do their thing. Amazing, but true. (Although he did instruct our furniture supplier to deliver a bookshelf and lateral filing cabinet to my apartment so that I can, in the words of my boss, "work even more efficiently on evenings and weekends." Yeah, love you too, John. At the moment, four very large, very heavy boxes are sitting in my living room, waiting for me to suck it up and begin assembling my home office suite.)

Carla also works in television. Her boss, however, is Timothy Pierpont, the Emmy and Oscar-winning producer who's giving Bruckheimer and Bochco a run for their money with his original, provocative programming. What did I tell you? Carla, perfect. Me, perfectly wretched.

As I pondered my wretchedness, I noticed that Carla was tapping her chin with her index finger, a sure sign that she was deep in thought.

"What?" I demanded.

"I'm just thinking that maybe your schedule can work to your benefit," she said.

"Explain, please."

"If you have no free time, then no one will get the impression it's about commitment. It must be a fling, because who has time for anything else?"

"Right," I said, drawing out the word as I tried to anticipate where she was going.

Carla, however, sped up, her voice channeling my earlier enthusiasm. "You should go for it. Definitely. Get out there and have a wild time." She leaned back, her arms crossed over her chest and a smug smile brightening her face. "And I know just how you should start."

I narrowed my eyes, smelling a trick. "How?"

"Cullen Slater." She spoke the name like an incantation, then waited for me to react. She didn't have long to wait.

"Have you gone mental?" Dark and dangerous, Slater was a very gainfully employed male model who alternated between a Ferrari and a Harley, sported a perfect five o'clock shadow no matter the time of day, and tended to date women whose clothes consisted of colorful adhesive strips. Well, date may give the wrong impression since I never saw any of his women more than once. But our apartments shared a common wall, and I can say with absolute certainty that none of his women left Slater's apartment unsatisfied. Or well-rested.

Cullen Slater is the reason I started sleeping with earplugs. Considering my newly announced resolution, I should probably trash the earplugs and buy a vibrator.

Carla's coral pink lips curved in smug satisfaction. "You've seen the kind of girls he's always dragging up the stairs at three in the morning."

"Slater is a god among men," I said. "And I have seen those women. There's no way he'd be interested in me."

Carla lifted one shoulder in a dainty gesture. "Don't sell yourself short, Mat. He's gorgeous, yes, but you're not too shabby. And you're brilliant and articulate and what guy wouldn't want you?"

I let that one hang, because in my experience with guys like Cullen (as in, guys whose talents run more toward the camera than the cognitive), "brilliant" and "articulate" weren't that much of an asset. Come to think of it, those two traits weren't exactly a selling point to any man, IQ notwithstanding. Breasts, I think, were the common denominator among men. And on that score, I was definitely only average.

Carla, however, was on a roll. "And he always asks you to bring in his mail when he's out of town," she pointed out, "so we already know that he trusts you. He must like you, too. And if you can get Slater in your bed, you'll know you've reached some sort of slut nirvana."

My stomach did one of those dropping-off-a-cliff numbers.

Slater.

I took a deep breath, felt beads of sweat form on my forehead, and silently agreed that Cullen Slater was an idea worth pondering. Not to mention a goal worth reaching.

Cullen Slater. The consummate bad boy.

Slater. And me. Me and Slater.

In bed.

In me.

Oh my.

Tuesday, April 24, 2007

DEMONS ARE FOREVER - excerpt




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{{{Spoiler Warning: Although the Kate Connor books do stand alone, reading out of order will inevitably result in some spoilers. This excerpt contains information regarding the final pages of CALIFORNIA DEMON. Reader beware!}}



CHAPTER ONE


I killed my first demon at the ripe old age of fourteen. Stabbed it through the eye with an ivory-handled stiletto that had been a birthday gift from my caretaker and mentor, Father Lorenzo Corletti.

I had spent two days tracking the demon, living on the filthy backstreets of a poverty-riddled Italian village, eating nothing but the scraps I'd tucked away in a threadbare knapsack. I had one companion – a boy I adored and whom, in fact, I later married. But teenage lust was the farthest thing from my mind during those long days. Demon-hunting is serious business, and I was a serious girl.

Even now, over two decades later, I can still remember the intensity of emotions. The drive of the chase despite bone-numbing exhaustion. And the certain knowledge that this was Important Stuff. From an overall life perspective, after all, very little ranks above thwarting the minions of Hell.

As far as my duties as a Demon Hunter went, my youth was an issue only to the extent that my strength and training gave me a fighting chance to stay alive. By age fourteen, I was physically ready. As for mentally? Well, there was never any question. I knew what had to be done, and I was expected to do it. My age never factored into the equation.

With all that in my personal history, you might think that I would understand better than anyone that fourteen- year-old girls are both strong and resilient.

You might think that, but you would be wrong. Because when it came time to actually have the talk with my fourteen year old daughter, I was a tongue-tied mess.

And, just so we're on the same page, when I say the, talk, I'm not talking about the sex one. That one I managed to muddle through. I'm talking about the other conversation. The one where I sat her down and confessed my deep, dark, secret life.

My name is Kate Connor, and I'm a Level Four Demon Hunter with Forza Scura, a super-secret arm of the Vatican charged with keeping the forces of darkness at bay. That particular piece of familial history, however, had been withheld from my daughter her entire life despite the fact that her father and I had hunted demons all over the globe until just a few years before Allie was born.

I'd always planned to tell her the truth someday. But somehow "someday" kept getting pushed further and further back. Allie was my baby, after all. For fourteen years, my job had been to nurture and protect her. Skewing her entire worldview with insider information about how evil truly walks among us wasn't something I'd been looking forward to. I knew I had to tell her, though; demon hunting is part of her family history, even though I often wish it weren't.

It was one thing knowing that I someday had to come clean with my daughter. Having the conversation forced on me was something entirely different. But after a high demon kidnapped her, I knew without a doubt that the demon-related mother-daughter lines of communication needed to be opened.

And so there we were, sitting on the steps in front of one of San Diablo's most well-funded museums. Despite the bright sun beating down, we were huddled together under an EMS-issued blanket, waiting to make sure the police and medical folks clustered in the parking lot didn't have any more questions for us, and also waiting for Stuart to come pick us up. My second husband doesn't have a clue about my demon-hunting past. And although this might be the day that Allie learned most of my secrets, Stuart was going to remain blissfully clueless.

"Mom?" she prodded. "So, like, you said you were going to tell me what's going on."

"Right," I said, still not ready, but figuring I never would be. I looked around, ostensibly making sure no one was paying attention to us, but half-hoping that someone was signaling for me to come over and answer questions.

No such luck. I was stuck in this conversation, whether I wanted to be or not. And since there's not really an easy way to ease into the whole demon thing, I decided to just cut to the chase. "What you saw in there," I began, a little hesitantly. "Those creatures, I mean. They're demons, Allie. Honest-to-goodness, from the bowels of hell, evil-incarnate demons."

I wasn't sure what I expected her initial reaction to be, but I balled my hands into fists, readying myself for anything.

"Oh," she said after a moment's pause. "That makes sense. And?"

And? My hands relaxed and I stumbled a bit, because I really wasn't expecting and.

Not yet anyway. I figured we had a good half-hour of working through the whole demon thing before we got to and. Toss and into the mix now and it would throw my whole equilibrium off.

"And?" I repeated. "I'm talking demons, kiddo. Isn't that enough?"

As if to prove to me that some things never change, my teenage daughter rolled her eyes. "Mo-ther," she said, as if she were talking to an idiot. "I mean, duh. Monsters, demons, boogey-men from hell. I was there, you know. I kinda grasp the concept."

Under the circumstances, the kid had a point. After all, there are only so many things that a sulfur-scented creature with paws and claws climbing its way out of a portal to hell can be. And none of them are good.

"But what about you?" she continued, before I could say anything else. "I mean, you were like Wonder Woman in there. It was pretty cool, Mom. But it was also pretty weird, too. And you said you were going to tell me."

That I had. I'd rushed to her rescue, just like any mom would. But by doing that, I'd shown her a side of me I'd carefully kept hidden. So when she'd asked me point-blank if I had a few secrets, I'd had no choice but to admit that I did.

I'd hoped to ease a bit more slowly into my revelation. Allie, though, wanted answers now.

"Let's walk," I said, standing up.

"But what about Stuart?"

I glanced down the road and didn't see any cars coming. Within the cluster of people still in the parking lot, I saw David Long talking with a uniformed officer. He noticed me and turned, a question in his eyes. I indicated Allie and made a walking motion with my fingers. He nodded, and I knew he understood. If Stuart came while we were walking the museum grounds, David would let my husband know.

The irony of the situation didn't escape me. Because I was pretty sure that David was my husband, or that he had been once. Which sounds a bit weird when you say it that way, but it was true: I was reasonably certain that the soul of my first husband had taken up residence in the body of Coronado High chemistry teacher David Long. I wasn't positive, though, and today wasn't the day I was going to find out for sure.

Someday, maybe. But not today.

Allie didn't miss our exchange. "Something's up with Mr. Long, too," she said. "If you were Wonder Woman, then he was totally Superman."

I had to laugh at the image, but the truth is that she's right. Telling my secrets meant giving some of his away, too.

"Come on," I said, taking her hand as I led us down the stairs and over to the gravel walking path that twisted through the museum's landscaped grounds. She didn't try to pull away, which left me feeling both surprised and nostalgic for the long-ago years when I could reach out and expect her little hand to close around mine immediately.

"You know I grew up in Italy," I began, looking sideways at her. "In an orphanage?"

She nodded, because that part of my past had never been a secret. She didn't know how I ended up in an orphanage, or who my parents were, or why an obviously American kid ended up wandering the streets, lost and abandoned in Rome. But I didn't know those answers either. And for years, I'd told myself that I didn't care. To my mind, my life started the day I met Father Corletti. Everything before that was white noise.

"Well, I wasn't raised in a Church-sponsored orphanage," I said. "I was raised by the Church itself. By a small group within the Church, actually."

"Daddy, too, right?"

"Daddy, too," I said. Allie had more than once heard the story about how I had a
crush on my first husband, Eric, when I was barely thirteen. But he – much more wise and mature at almost fifteen – hadn't been the least bit interested in a kid like me.

Not at first, anyway.

What Allie didn't know was that Eric had finally come around during our training sessions. He'd been assigned to help me with my pathetic knife-throwing skills, and after a few months of one-on-one time, Eric was just as much in love with me as I was with him. Plus, I could hit the target dead-on every time.

"Okay," she said. "And?"

"You're getting an awful lot of mileage out of that word today," I countered.

To which my drama queen daughter responded by stopping on the path, tapping her foot,
and asking me if she was going to have to repeat the word another time.

"Once was fine," I said, managing not to laugh. "But remind me when you grew up?"

"About an hour ago," she said, then turned and pointed back toward the museum. "In there."

Point taken.

"Forza Scura," I said. "It's Latin. Translates roughly to the Dark Force. And," I continued, before she could toss the word at me one more time, "it's the name of the organization within the Church that your father and I were trained to work for."

"Trained," she repeated. I nodded, then watched as she processed that new bit information. "Okay," she finally said. "But trained to do what?"

Now it was my turn to point back toward the museum. "Take a guess."

"Whoa," she said. "No shit?" And then, "Sorry, Mom."

I smiled and gave her hand a squeeze. "No shit," I said. "Forza trained us to hunt demons. And that's what we did for years, and then we retired about a year before you were born."

"Oh, okay." She nodded slowly, as if she was still trying to process our discussion.

"Anything else you want to ask?" There's a lot I could tell her at this point. I could describe traveling Europe with Eric and chasing down the types of creatures she'd met in the museum. I could talk about living in the Forza dorms, staying up all night and sharing the kinds of scary stories that all kids tell. Only the stories we told were true. I could tell her about Wilson Endicott, my first alimentatore, who helped Eric and me by doing the research even as we went out armed to the teeth.

I could tell her all of that, but I wasn't going to. Not unless she asked. Because this was Big Stuff. And I knew she had to take it in at her own pace.

That, at least, was what I told myself. And I really think that I was mostly being honest. But even so, I have to admit that a small part of me hoped that she wouldn't be too curious. Because once you truly know about evil, it's hard to be a kid anymore. And I didn't want to be the mother who'd ripped what was left of childhood out from under my daughter.

She took a look around the grounds, taking in the wooden gazebo and the crushed stone paths. Birds of Paradise and other tropical flowers that thrive in California lined the walkways, marking the way back to the museum in one direction and the San Diablo City Park in the other. Except for us, there was no one to be seen, and after a few moments of silence, I guess Allie decided we had time to hit a few more of the high points.

"So Gramps and Mr. Long," she began. "How come they were with you? Are they with that Forza thing?"

"Gramps was," I said, referring to Eddie Lohmann, an eighty-something retired demon hunter who had taken up temporary residence in our guest bedroom and permanent residence in our life. Allie was under the impression that Eddie was her long-lost great-grandfather, and that wasn't an illusion I felt compelled to dissolve. "He's been retired for a long time."

"And Mr. Long?"

Wasn't that a loaded question? But I fielded it the best I could, explaining that David Long was not just a mild-mannered high school teacher, but also a rogue demon hunter. In other words, a hunter not affiliated with Forza. He was also, I added, a friend of Allie's father. Which, for all I knew, was the God's-honest truth.

Because as much as I might suspect that Eric was somehow hiding in David's body, at the same time, I might simply be grasping at straws, desperate to believe that my first love hadn't really perished that foggy night in San Francisco. That somehow the man who'd been my lover and my partner for so many years could still be alive.
It was almost too much to hope for, and at the same time, if David was Eric, what would that mean for me? For my kids? For my marriage?

I didn't know, and every time I tried to think about it, I got lost in a quagmire of emotion so thick that I was certain I could drown in it if I wasn't careful.

Allie started walking again, and I shoved the melancholy aside and moved into step beside her, forcing my thoughts back to my daughter and away from Eric.

"Al?" She was hugging herself, her gaze directed back toward the museum. As I watched, she shivered, her back and shoulders spasming as if the cold finger of Death himself had traced its way up her spine. "Al!" I repeated, this time more urgently, and with my hand on her shoulder. "Are you okay?"

She turned to look at me, her eyes haunted. "You aren't still ... I mean, that thing could have killed you, Mom."

"But it didn't," I said, gently, trying desperately not to cry. My daughter had lost a father only too recently; the idea that she now feared losing her mother, too, about broke my heart.

"You're retired now, right?" she asked with an unfamiliar urgency in her voice.

"Like you said. You and Daddy retired before I was born."

I hesitated, knowing that I should tell her the truth. That I'd come out of retirement a few months ago and that, yes, lately I'd been neck-deep in demons. My head told me to say the words, but my heart wouldn't let me.

So, instead, I lied. Or, to be technical, I repeated one truth and neglected to mention another. "Right," I said. "Daddy and I retired."

Her whole body relaxed and I knew that I'd made the right decision. Yes, I needed to tell her the truth. But considering what she'd just been through, the truth could wait a while.

We walked a little while longer in silence before she turned to me again. "So, what I don't get is how come you were there," she said. "In the museum I mean."

"To rescue you, baby."

She rolled her eyes again. "Yeah, that part I got. But if you're not in this Forza thing anymore, then how did you know where to find me? And how'd you know that I'd been taken by demons and not just by a bunch of creepy guys?"

"We have David to thank for that," I said, which isn't entirely true. But the truth would require admitting that I was back on active duty with Forza, and I didn't think that was a good idea. It was one thing for Allie to know the truth about my past – and to know I survived it. It was another thing altogether to have her worry about me every time I went out at night. Since I already worried about her every second she was out of my sight, I knew what a burden that could be. And it wasn't something I intended to dump on my kid. Not so long as I could help it, anyway.

"So what about Stuart?" she asked. "He doesn't know, right?"

Astute kid. "No," I admitted. "He doesn't."

"Why?"

Another big question, but this one I was prepared to answer. "Because when I met Stuart, my demon-hunting days were long behind me. He fell in love with a single mom with a great kid who happened to be a lousy cook and a mediocre housekeeper."

"Mediocre? Puh-lease."

"Compared to the way you keep your room," I countered with a laugh, "I'm mediocre.
And the point is that my past wasn't part of the equation. So I've always thought it would be unfair to spring it on him now."

"Yeah," she said, after pondering that for a bit. "I guess that makes sense."

I'm glad she thought so, because I needed her to help keep my secret. As it was, I expected that I'd soon have to come clean with Stuart anyway. As much as I feared that the truth would drive a wedge into our marriage, I was equally afraid that keeping secrets would do the exact same thing.

"The whole thing's kinda freaky," she said, as we headed back toward the parking lot. "But it's pretty cool, too," she added, flashing a wide smile. "My mom, the superhero."

A little trill of satisfaction caught me by surprise. Having your teenager say you're cool is a rare treat, and one that must be savored.

"What about Aunt Laura? Does she know?" Laura Dupont lives directly behind us and also happens to be my best friend.

"Yes," I admitted. "Laura knows."

"Umm." She chewed a bit on her lower lip as she processed that tidbit of information. "So, then, I can tell Mindy?" she finally asked, referring to her best friend and, conveniently enough, Laura's daughter.

"I don't know. Let me think about it. And let me talk it over with Laura. It's a big deal knowing demons are out there. That may be more than you want to lay on a friend." It had been more than I'd wanted to share with Laura, but she'd stumbled across my secret and I'd had no choice. Now, I was glad she knew. Everyone needs a confidante, and even though the rules of Forza require the ultimate secrecy, some rules just scream to be broken.

We walked a bit more in silence until Allie stopped abruptly, anxiety coloring her face. "Oh, God, Mom," she said, making me totally fear the worst. "I can still go back to Coronado after the Christmas break, right? I mean, just because there was a demon in the surf club, that doesn't mean I have to switch to a private school or anything. Does it?"

"That's it?" I said, completely unable to keep my amazement – and relief – to myself. I'd just told her that not only had demons infiltrated her school, but that her mother, her father, her (pseudo) great-grandfather, and her chemistry teacher had all been demon hunters by trade. And the primary question on her mind was whether or not she was going to stay at the same high school? "That's what you're worried about?"

Call me crazy, but I was expecting … I don't know. Her fear, yes. But once that was quelled, I thought there would be more. Fireworks. Teenage angst. Huffing and stomping and storming about. Accusations about keeping secrets. Possibly even the silent treatment.

I'd been expecting that, prepared for it, even. And I'd also been expecting that at the end of all the shock, she'd beg to follow in her parents' footsteps. I figured she'd plead for a trip to Rome. Want to meet Father Corletti. At the very least insist on keeping a stiletto and a vial of holy water in her purse.

That, honestly, was one of the reasons I'd held off so long on this talk. Because that's not a life I want for my daughter. I want her safe, secure in her home, tucked into bed at night, and not worrying about monsters in the closet or walking the streets. I agreed to come out of retirement to make San Diablo a safer town, after all. Tossing my daughter into the fray wasn't part of what I was hoping to accomplish.

Apparently, though, I worried for nothing. Because I got none of that. Not then, not during the remainder of our walk back to the museum parking lot, and not during the entire four weeks of Christmas vacation. Instead, I just got … well, Allie. A little more introspective version of Allie, maybe, but nothing to suggest there'd been any life-changing mother-daughter talks in the last few weeks.

"She has a lot to absorb," Laura said on a balmy Thursday in January, just a few days before school was scheduled to start up again. "Give her time. Before you know it, she'll be begging to wield a stiletto and learn how to identify a demon on sight."

At her use of the word "demon," I turned toward the doorway, the reaction automatic since I knew perfectly well that the house was empty. In a rare moment of domesticity, Stuart had taken Allie and Timmy to the mall for an afternoon of exchanging presents and scouring sales, and Eddie was at the library, more interested in the librarian than the books.

"Thanks," I said as Kabit, our cat, twined between my legs in the vain hope of snagging some cream. "That makes me feel so much better."

Laura peered at me over the rim of one of my festive holiday mugs, currently brimming with cocoa and whipped cream. "She's a teenager, Kate. Just because she's scared for you doesn't mean that she's scared for her. After all, you're old and creaky.
She's young and invincible." She skimmed her finger through her whipped cream and held her finger down to Kabit, who immediately abandoned me and trotted to her. "And she did tell you that the demon-hunting thing was cool, right?"

I nodded. That she had.

"She's processing," Laura said. "Along with boys and cheerleading and school, she's processing the fact that she was kidnapped by a demon and her mother used to be a demon hunter." She nailed me with a significant look; I'd confessed to Laura my flat out lie about no longer hunting demons, and my best friend was not exactly supportive of my decision. "Once she's worked it all out in her head, she's going to want to know more. And if you don't tell her that you're still hunting, you're just going to dig yourself in deeper and deeper."

I scowled at my Santa Claus mug. In truth, Laura had a point. A sharp, painful point that I couldn't ignore, even though I wanted to. I'd seen fear in Allie's eyes and so I'd lied about my hunting. I'd been trying to make things better, and by doing that, I'd probably made them ten times worse. "It will be okay," I said firmly, more to convince me than Laura.

The corner of her mouth twitched.

"What?" I demanded, feeling surly.

She smiled into her cocoa. "Just picturing the battle between you and Allie when the truth comes out."

"And that's funny?"

A tiny shrug. "Just the odds. Because between you and a demon, my money's on you any day of the week. But between you and Allie? Kate, you don't stand a chance."

Tuesday, April 17, 2007

APHRODITE'S KISS - book index



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Books in the Superherocentral series:

APHRODITE'S KISS
A MOTHER'S WAY (Contains the novella Seeking Single Superhero)
APHRODITE'S PASSION
APHRODITE'S SECRET
APHRODITE'S FLAME

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THE CAT'S FANCY (introduces the characters of Deena & Hoop)

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USA Today Bestseller!

RITA Finalist!

Romantic Times Reviewer's Choice Award Winner, Best Contemporary Paranormal of 2001

1st Place, Paranormal, Dorothy Parker Award of Excellence

PEARL Award, Fantasy/Magical honorable mention


"Author Julie Kenner has developed a wonderfully originial storyline laden with fun. The whole concept of the Council of Protectors is marvelous. A true original, filled with humor, adventure and fun!" Romantic Times

"With her characteristic flair, Kenner will have the reader laughing till tears come at the marvelous antics and sparkling dialogue. Richly created characters, an outrageous plot, and a loveable ferret make APHRODITE'S KISS a keeper." Cindy Penn, Wordweaving

"What fun! The characters were well-developed, sympathetic and lovable, while the supporting cast was fabulous. ... For a wonderful read, I highly recommend APHRODITE'S KISS. (5 Stars)" Karen Larsen, ScribesWorld

"Julie Kenner's latest is just plain wonderful, a non-stop roller coaster ride full of humor, emotion, action and endearing characters. Saving the world has never been this much fun. Brava Ms. Kenner. APHRODITE'S KISS is a winner!" Lauren Michaels, Heart Rate Reviews

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Zoe Smith was far from normal. Crazy as it sounded, on her twenty-fifth birthday she had the chance to become a superhero. But x-ray vision and the ability to fly were only two things to consider. There were other factors, too…. There was her newfound heightened sensitivity. She could hardly eat a chocolate bar without writhing in ecstasy; how was she to give herself the birthday gift she'd really set her heart on -- George Taylor?

The handsome P.I.'s dark exterior hid a truly sweet center, and Zoe felt certain that his mere touch would send her spiraling into oblivion. But the man was looking for an average Jane -- no matter what he claimed. He could never love a superhero-to-be, especially one with an overprotective stallion of a brother and a creepy cousin who seemed to be lurking in all the wrong places. Could he?

Zoe had to know. With her super powers, Zoe could only see through his clothing -- to strip bare the workings of his heart, she'd have to rely on something a little more potent.

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VENERATE COUNCIL OF PROTECTORS
1-800-555-HERO
www.superherocentral.com

Protecting Mortals Is Our Business!

Official Business

Ms. Zoë Smith
Halfling
Los Angeles, California

Greetings and Congratulations on your upcoming twenty-fifth birthday:

Enclosed please find your Application for Membership to the Venerate Council of Protectors (487 pages, excluding affidavits and attachments) and Council Publication Numbers 1758-A(3) and 2987-Z(9), respectively titled "So You're A Halfling" and "The Venerate Council: A Brief History in 1200 Pages".

Please complete the Application and return it in triplicate to the Council by no later than one month prior to the 25th anniversary of your birth.

As part of the Application process, you may be evaluated through field testing during your birthday week. Such testing is random, and Applicants are not informed in advance.

You will be advised of your Application status the morning following your twenty-fifth birthday. A decision as to your denial or acceptance will be based on your overall skill level and performance during the tests.

If you are accepted to the Council, you will be informed at that time of the date and location of your swearing in ceremony. If your application is declined, you will be escorted to the Bureau of Registration, where you will be required to either register as an Unlicensed Protector (Outcast) or forfeit your Protector heritage and undergo mortalization, at which time all memories of your Protector relatives will be removed. (For more detailed information on the mortalization process, including limitations of liability, warranties, and disclosures, please visit our website at www.superherocentral.com.)

Failure to register as an Outcast or to select Mortalization is a violation of Section IV, subpart 2(a)(ii) of the Mortal-Protector Treaty of 1970.

In addition to your formal Application, you must submit -- by no later than sunset on your twenty-fifth birthday -- the enclosed Affidavit of Mortal Disclosure affirming that you have disclosed to your mortal parent your status as a halfling and your decision to apply for Council membership.

As you are aware, your Protector parent filed a Notice of Halfing Nascence contemporaneously with your birth, and such information has been periodically updated. Your file currently states that, in addition to the speed, strength and agility inherent in the Protector genetics, you have also demonstrated a propensity toward the following skill(s)/power(s)/characteristic(s):

heightened five senses (including x-ray vision)

As the anniversary of your birth draws closer, you will most likely experience significant oscillation in your ability to control/utilize such skills(s)/power(s)/characteristic(s). Such fluctuations are an unfortunate by-product of your halfling status and are considered normal.

Our records further indicate that you have not yet mastered the following necessary skill(s):

matter manipulation (a.k.a telekinesis)

Form 82-C(1)(a), on file with the Office of Halfling Registration, reflects the issuance of the following Council-controlled articles:

propulsion cloak, model C-14A (training model)
and
x-ray blocking glasses, tortoise-shell variety (regular and sunglasses)


Please be advised that at any time prior to the anniversary of your birth, you may formally announce your intent to not submit the Affidavit and to select mortalization. Please use Form 93B, enclosed, Intent to Select Mortalization.

Upon submission of such form, you will be immediately escorted to the Bureau of Registration for processing. Please arrange return transportation in advance. Following the mortalization process, you will have no memory of the Council or your Protector relatives. A stranded mortal is an unhappy mortal!

Thank you for your attention to this matter -- and happy birthday!

Sincerely,
Phelonium Prigg
Phelonium Prigg,
Assistant to Zephron, High Elder

jbk:PP
enclosure


CHAPTER ONE


Zoë Smith stared at the chocolate bar, wondering if it was going to attack. She'd confiscated it an hour ago from one of the students who knew better than to bring food into the library, and she'd been contemplating the dastardly thing ever since. It looked innocent enough -- sitting there on her desk surrounded by children's book catalogs, order forms and manila folders.

Zoë knew better.

That smooth, creamy milk chocolate mixed with chewy caramel had it in for her.

One bite, and Riverdance would begin tap-tapping away inside her mouth. Two bites, and her head would start spinning while smoke came out of her ears. Three bites, and those urban legends about spontaneous human combustion wouldn't be legend any more.

Her whole life, Zoë'd had to watch what she ate. Too spicy, too tangy, too anything and she'd be jumping up and down, trying to put out a fire on her tongue or otherwise calm her taste buds.
And she'd thought that was inconvenient ...

Ha!

That was nothing compared to what her ridiculous senses were doing these days. These days, her senses had been shoved into the touch, smell, sight, taste and sound version of The Twilight Zone. Sometimes perfectly calm, perfectly stable. Other times, more unstable than a psychopath on a bad day. In other words, totally whacked-out.

At least her x-ray vision could be blocked by simple glasses. So far at least, Zoë hadn't discovered any easy way to wrestle some control into the rest of her senses.

Her brother Hale had said she just needed to get used to it -- that after a while she'd become more acclimated.

Yeah, right.

Zoë was pretty sure that Hale's ability to understand animal-speak and turn invisible didn't hold a candle to what she went through if she tried to eat spicy Mexican food. Or the noise when a hundred or so conversations popped into her head unannounced. The unexpected drone of voices was bad enough; trying to sort them out and hear just one conversation was exhausting.

Besides, since Hale was a full-fledged Protector, he'd never had to deal with this sudden increase in powers. Instead of sporadically peaking like an adolescent boy's voice, his powers had developed calmly and slowly as he'd grown up. So Zoë doubted he had any idea just how overwhelming her megawatt senses really were.
As far as Zoë was concerned, at the moment her life was in a state of total chaos. Her senses were whacky, she still couldn't levitate worth a darn, she could barely steer her propulsion cloak, and in just a few days she had to tell her mother that she was a halfling and about the join the Venerate Council. You see, Mom, I just never got around to telling you that I'm a superhero.

Oh yeah. That was gonna go over big.

She tapped her fingers on the desk, considering the candy bar. Maybe Hale did have a point. She needed to start somewhere, and she'd certainly never get used to this new hyper-aware state if she lived on rice cakes and oatmeal. Maybe she should put a little effort into acclimation.

Squinting, she leaned forward until she was nose to wrapper with the devious confection. "Okay, Mr. Goodbar. It's you or me." Slowly, ceremoniously, she peeled the wrapper away, waiting for her nose to start twitching as the decadent smell of chocolate surrounded her.

Nothing.

A good sign, maybe?

Experimentally, she touched the tip of her tongue against the candy. It was chocolate all right. Yummy, delicious, fattening chocolate. But -- so far, anyway -- not in the least bit spazz-inducing.

Well, in for a penny and all that.

Before she had time to think about it, she opened her mouth, shoved the candy bar in, and bit down on a good size chunk.

Heaven. Pure heaven in a bite-sized package.

She closed her eyes, letting the chocolate melt on her tongue, the sweet sensation of caramel mixing with the pure, rich decadence. Delicious and wonderful, but not overwhelming. Just your average, everyday choco--

Uh-oh. Big-time, major uh-oh.

The world tilted on its axis, spinning faster and faster as the superfragilistic taste of chocolate grabbed hold of her taste buds and refused to let go.

Colors. She was tasting colors. Pinks and purples and yellows exploded in her mouth, forming and reforming into kaleidoscopes of sensory delight, seeping into her blood and making her entire body flush. She tried to look around, tried to tell if anyone could see her, but the rainbow blocked her vision.

She thought the library was empty, but what if someone came in? What if someone saw her losing her mind because of a chocolate bar?

What if someone thought she'd spiked a brownie?

Frantic, she dropped to the floor and scooted under her desk, pressing her hands against the solid wood as vibrant sensations ricocheted through her body. Deep breaths. That's what she needed. Lots and lots of deep breaths and no more chocolate.

Ever.

The worst of it passed, and she dug in her pocket for a tissue and tried to wipe any remaining chocolate off her tongue. The procedure left little bits of paper in her mouth, but since paper was a heck of a lot more bland than chocolate, she couldn't exactly complain.

Finally feeling normal again -- well, normal for her anyway -- she leaned her head against the desk, closed her eyes, and let the sounds of the empty library surround her. At first, she heard only a cacophony of noise. She squinted, urging the auditory mess to filter into something she could get her mind around.

Then, slowly, something happened. Sounds emerged. Sounds she knew. The whirr of the ancient air-conditioner, the patter of footsteps in the hallway, the irritating buzz of the clock over the door. The gentle rasp of breathing.

Breathing?

She stiffened. Very low, not audible to normal ears, but there it was. Well, wasn't that just great? Probably Principal Dorsey, come to approve this week's library book orders.

"Ms. Smith?"

Zoë exhaled. Not Mr. Dorsey. A kid. Probably one of the sixth graders.

"Ms. Smith?" he repeated, but this time a head popped around the side of the desk, and big eyes behind Coke bottle glasses peered at her. "Oh. There you are. Do you want to buy some PTA candy?" he asked, as if it was perfectly normal to find the school librarian hiding under her desk.

With as much dignity as she could gather, Zoë climbed out from her hiding place and brushed off her skirt. She gave the kid a stern look and tried to look authoritative. "Do you have a hall pass?"

"Uh, yeah." He dug deep into the pocket of his over-sized jeans, then pulled out a mangled pass. "I'm using my study period to sell the candy." Once again, he waved a box of chocolate bars toward her. "Want one? They're only a buck."

Not in a million years. Aloud, she said, "No thanks."

"Oh. You're sure? It's for playground equipment."

Then again ... there was that whole acclimation thing. Maybe best to just jump in with both feet. She cocked her head as the kid stood in front of her, doing a good job of looking like Oliver holding out a porridge bowl. She sighed. "How many come in a box?"

For just a second, the kid looked confused. Then his salesman instincts kicked back in. "Uh, twenty-four. But I've already sold five."

"I'll take the rest of them." She reached into her purse and started rummaging for her wallet. "A buck a piece, right?" At the kid's nod, she pressed a twenty into his hand. "Keep the change."

Alone with her nemesis, Zoë placed the carton of chocolate on her desk, turning it this way and that until she'd angled it just so. She didn't intend to eat one. Not now. Not after the little fiasco just moments before. This chocolate thing was going to require some serious pondering and planning.

What was that saying? Keep your friends close, but your enemies closer?

At the moment, Zoë wasn't real sure whether the chocolate was friend or foe. But either way, she wasn't letting it out of her sight.

***

George Bailey Taylor steered Francis Capra into the parking lot of South Hollywood Elementary and tried to ignore the enormous ball of lead that seemed to have settled in his stomach. It was just a job, after all. No matter how distasteful. And right now, he needed all the damn jobs he could get.

The simple fact was, Taylor was in trouble. The kind of trouble that had pesky credit card agents calling during dinner time. The kind of trouble that kept him up at night. The kind of trouble that left a big, smoldering lump in his stomach.

Money trouble.

And that, in a nutshell, was why he'd taken such a stinker of a case. Taylor needed to keep reminding himself of that. Harold Parker or starvation. Parker, or a long slow death from hunger with big, black buzzards circling him from above.

Okay ... so maybe it wasn't that bad. After all, peanut butter and macaroni were cheap. But without this job he sure as hell wasn't going to make his rent. And he'd been damned if he'd bum a couch off somebody or go crawling back to the department and trade the bullet in his leg in for a nice, fat disability check. No way, no how.
Time to get down to it. He parked the car in a visitor space, pitched his sunglasses onto the dash next to the box of flowers, then started digging through the pile of papers on the passenger seat until he found his notes. Emily Parker. Forty-three. Elementary school head librarian. Unlucky enough to be married to Harold Parker who now wanted a divorce, along with a chunk of Emily's family money.

Which meant that Harold wanted Taylor to track down a scandal -- any scandal -- so he could force a hefty settlement. So far Taylor had come up with zip, which was particularly unfortunate since Taylor had a sinking suspicion that, unless he brought Parker some juicy gossip, Parker was going to stiff him for fees.

So much for the glamorous life of a Hollywood private investigator.

When he'd hung out his shingle six months ago, he'd fantasized about a Remington Steele lifestyle. Or at least Magnum, P.I. Instead, he'd gotten Mike Hammer on a bad day. Hell, he was thirty-four years old, supposedly in the prime of his life. But here he was, working two-bit cases and struggling to pay his rent.

He should've paid more attention when he was a kid and the social worker'd told him that bit about life not being fair.

With a groan, he angled himself out of the Mustang, reached back inside for the flowers, then headed for the front doors. With any luck, the library would be empty and Taylor could take a quick peek at the inside of Emily Parker's desk.

And if luck wasn't with him ... well, there was always the fire alarm.

***

"But Miss Smith," came the high, nasal voice, "I really, really, really need A Wrinkle In Time."

Sighing, Zoë kept a hand on the stack of books she was reshelving and looked down from the ladder into the face of little Patricia Something-or-other. "Patty, I told you yesterday. Both copies are checked out."

"But it's my turn." The little girl placed her hands on her hips. Her wiry, red pigtails smelled of Johnson's baby shampoo and sprang out from the sides of her head like bent pipe-cleaners. Unruly red hair and an attitude that wouldn't quit. Zoë couldn't help but like the kid.

"How about I make you a deal?" she asked, and Patty squinted, wary. "I'll bring my own copy tomorrow, and if the school's copies aren't turned in, you can borrow mine. Okay?"

Now the girl was all smiles. "You're the best, Miss Smith."

"I bet you say that to all the librarians."

Patty frowned. "Huh?"

"Never mind," Zoë said.

She shoved her glasses back up her nose, then turned back to her reshelving. Patty swung her Powerpuff Girls backpack onto her shoulder, managing to bang it against the ladder in the process. The stack of books teetered, and Patty's eyes went wide as the volumes tumbled toward her perky little head.

In that very same instant, Zoë aimed her full concentration at the books, not thinking, just reacting. Time seemed to slow as she gripped them in her mind, testing their weight, their shape. And then -- still not quite believing she was actually doing it -- she gave the books a teensy little mental nudge ... and sent them crashing harmlessly to the ground at Patty's feet.

Hopping Hades! She'd done it. She'd actually done it.

Below her, Patty tugged on her skirt, pulling Zoë back to the present. "Miss Smith? Did you see?"

"See what?" Zoë asked, playing innocent.

"The books. They moved."

Zoë sucked in a deep breath, hoping she sounded calm. "Yes, they did. They fell. It's called gravity. You'll learn all about it in sixth grade, I think." She kept her words measured. "And that's why you should never, ever stand under ladders."

Zoë stepped down, then led Patty toward the door. She could barely keep the smile off her face and, as Patty would say, she really, really, really wanted the library to herself.

"No, Miss Smith. I mean they moved ... sideways."

She pulled open the library door and aimed the girl into the hallway. "You're going to be late for third period, young lady. Come back tomorrow and I'll give you A Wrinkle In Time and a book on optical illusions. Okay?"
Patty didn't look convinced, but what could she say? There wasn't instant replay at South Hollywood Elementary.
As soon as Patty was in the hall, Zoë shut the door and leaned against it. She'd really done it.

True, it had been just an itty-bitty bit of mind over matter. Nothing like what some Protectors could do. Her dad and Hale, for example. They could do all sorts of amazing things simply by focusing one burst of mental energy. But this was a start -- a good one.

And it called for a celebration. A definite champagne and roses moment. Except ... her nose wrinkled as she thought about the effect sparkling wine and fragrant flowers would have on her newly-charged senses. Better to go with a rice cake and bottled water. Something to mark the moment.

And a very auspicious moment it was. Every year, she'd been tested with her cousin Mordichai, and he'd always, always beaten her. Her whole life, she'd been the halfling who couldn't do anything right, who didn't really fit in. And now, when she'd least expected it, she'd finally managed to levitate something! That meant she could amend her Council Application to check the "yes" box for telekinetic skills, and that put her one step closer to acceptance.

Of course, she still had to get her senses under control. Plus, she had to submit her Application of Mortal Disclosure. Which meant telling her mom everything. Which was terrifying. For as long as she could remember, she'd wanted to join the Council and go on missions. She wanted to rescue people from avalanches and kittens from trees. She wanted friends who understood her and didn't think she was weird.

The problem was that she wanted her mother, too. But twenty-five years ago, a pregnant Tessa Smith had walked away from her one true love about two seconds after she'd found out his secret. Tessa never even knew that Donis had started visited Zoë when she was still a toddler, and Tessa certainly didn't know that Zoë had inherited quite a few traits from her dad.

Overall, it wasn't exactly a typical childhood for Zoë, though by Los Angeles standards, she supposed it wasn't too out of the ordinary.

She blinked, trying to force herself back to the issue at hand -- her newfound levitation skills. The question of the hour was, could she do it again? Or was she going to have to endanger a child every time she wanted to levitate something? Clearly, that would never do.

Well, no time like the present to find out. She tipped her head down, then peeked over the frames of her glasses and through the rows of shelving to make sure the coast was clear. Then -- satisfied that no kids were sitting behind the bookshelves and no Application Committee members were hovering around to see if a mere halfling was breaking the carved-in-stone rule against power-exploitation -- she aimed her concentration at the canister on her desk filled with yellow number two pencils.

Steady, steady...

Her faced tightened, muscles straining as she focused, visualizing it rising in the air. There, in her mind, it hovered a good foot off the desk.

Unfortunately, it was only hovering in her mind. In reality, the stupid canister was still planted firmly on the gray metal desktop.

Just relax, Zoë. Remember what Hale said. Her half-brother had this levitation thing down pat. True, things came a lot easier for him, but he was also her very best teacher. Just do what he said and let it flow.
She tried again, aiming her eyes toward the pencils, but looking past them. Focusing, but not. Concentrating, but not. Urging, coaxing, wanting.

And then the canister moved.

At first, just a little jiggle, the pencils shaking a bit in the cup.

Focus ... focus ...

And then, yes, finally, it rose -- a bit wobbly -- off the table.

She'd done it again! So what if she'd broken some rules, the point was she'd really --

Whump! The door slammed inward against her butt and the pencils went crashing to the floor.

She spun around -- ready to deliver a stern lecture about slamming through doorways -- and stopped short, her mouth hanging open as she stared into the deep brown eyes of a truly spectacular mortal male. Unruly chestnut hair, a chiseled face with a thin scar dividing one eyebrow, a five o'clock shadow well before lunch, and fabulous shoulders that filled out a not-so-fashionable suit. Even in the wrong clothes, this guy had the right stuff.
With a bit of effort, she managed not to drool. With a bit more effort, she kept her glasses on, resisting the urge to take a peek and see if he looked as good out of those clothes.

"Sorry," he said, shifting the flower box under his arm.

"Mmm?" It would be so easy. After all, what was the point of having x-ray vision if you never got to use it? All she had to do was tilt her head and peer over the frames. Easy. So very easy ...

No, no, no. She shoved her glasses into place. She needed to get her mind out of the gutter, to stop thinking about --

"Sorry," he repeated. "I'm--"

"Sex."

"Excuse me?"

Oh, mother of Zeus, had she really said that? "Six. I said 'six.'" He probably thought she was a total ditz. "You're the sixth person who's done that to me today."

"Oh." He glanced behind him at the heavy door. "Maybe you shouldn't stand so close."

"Right," she said, moving away from the actual place of mortification. "Good idea." She smoothed her jumper, then fiddled with the end of her braid.

"So how can I help you, Mr. ...?"

"Taylor." He grinned and held out his hand. "And you are?"

"Zoë Smith." She shook his hand, his solid warm fingers curling around hers. A nice, normal handshake -- at least until he pulled his hand away, his skin gliding against hers. She inhaled sharply as the friction of his touch sent a billion sparks of electricity rushing through her fingers. Her entire body tingled, and she was pretty sure her hair was frizzing. Oh, wowza.

She tried to catch her breath, tried to act normal. "I ... I'm the assistant librarian."

"Ah," he said, stepping closer.

She stumbled behind a table, feeling oddly safer with a buffer zone.

"Well, Zoë Smith, I could have sworn you said 'sex.'"

"Don't be ridiculous. Why on earth would I say that?" Other than the fact that lately she'd been preoccupied with the whole sex thing, of course. She could barely handle chocolate. How the heck was she supposed to handle an orgasm?

In the throes of total sensory overload, she could lose her grip completely. And that couldn't be good. If she didn't end up revealing her secret, she might end up hurting someone.

The thought of losing control so completely, so intimately, terrified her. And yet ... and yet there were times -- like now, if she wanted to be perfectly honest -- that she really wanted a taste of forbidden fruit.
All of which made sex just one more frustration in her already confused and frustrated life.

Once again, she gave her glasses a good shove, ensuring that they stayed squarely on her nose. No matter how good looking this Mr. Taylor might be, she absolutely, positively wasn't going to sneak a peek.

Really.

He cleared his throat, and she sprang to attention, then that his eyes were still aimed right at her. She frowned.

"You're staring."

The smile that spread over his face was one of pure, devious pleasure. "Well, I thought you might be getting ready to answer your own question." The grin made it to his eyes. "About why you'd say I'm sex." He stepped closer, clearly favoring one leg. "Not that I particularly mind the endorsement."

"I told you. I didn't say that at all."

"No?" He moved closer to the desk and propped a hip against the edge. "Too bad. I was hoping to investigate all those stories about how wild librarians are after they whip off their glasses." Mischief danced on his face. "So. Are they true?"

The smooth timbre of his voice tickled her senses, and she pursed her lips, trying to stay focused. She should be annoyed, not intrigued. "Do you believe everything you hear?"

"No, but in your case, I'd be happy to believe." He held his arms out to his sides in a gesture of surrender.

"Wanna take off your glasses?"

Oh my. Her cheeks warmed. Trying for nonchalant, she leaned against her desk, her heart pounding in her chest, her palms starting to sweat. She could run the Boston marathon without getting this worked up. What on earth was this man doing to her?

She fought to keep control, and was pretty sure she was losing the battle. He was just so very ... male. Every luscious, testosterone-laden inch of him. So very sensual, so very yummy, so very, very --

Pop!

Zoë jumped as the bulb in her desk lamp blew out, the noise dragging her back to reality. With renewed determination, she firmly quashed thoughts of lust and testosterone and raging hormones. By Zeus, she was going to be cool and distant even if it killed her.

"What do you want, Mr. Taylor?"

He upped the wattage on his smile, and cool and distant suddenly seemed extremely foolish. Red-hot and close-up held much more appeal.

Which, all things considered, was rather inconvenient. Because, flirting aside, she was pretty sure he hadn't come into her library wanting sex.


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Thursday, April 12, 2007

THE PRADA PARADOX - review




If I had to pick just one word to sum up this book, it would be "fantastic!" Fortunately, I can use more than that. This is a thrilling, complex story that will keep you riveted from the opening page and have you on the edge of your seat. Your entire mind is involved, you don't just passively watch the words go past your eyes. There is only one bad part; it's the final book in the trilogy.



Amanda Kilgore for Eternal Night


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Tuesday, April 3, 2007

THE GOOD GHOUL'S GUIDE TO GETTING EVEN - back cover copy



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Elizabeth Frasier's ticked off. Her junior year of high school was going just fine. But thanks to a bunch of jerkwad vampire jocks, she ended up undead, and with a thirst that a thousand Diet Cokes couldn't quench. Now she's out for blood-and revenge. And she knows exactly what to do...Elizabeth's read Salem's Lot. Separate the good vamps from the bad and wipe out the crowd that did her in. On top of that, she's got to figure out how to be mortal again-unless universities start accepting dead girls.

THE GOOD GHOUL'S GUIDE TO GETTING EVEN - REVIEWS

"STELLAR!"



"I have not had this much fun with a teen book in a looong time! Beth is not only smart, but she is witty and filled with sass! Her friends are the same, but Beth just has it all in spades! The story is go great that I did not want it to end. So I am thrilled to find that there will be a second novel in this series. Don’t worry, this book will NOT leave you hanging. It is fun watching Beth and her friends get even with Stephen and the cheerleaders, as well as, against the various other popular kids who got her turned into a vampire. But the author, Julie Kenner, is a Master at story telling! Again, the ending does not leave you hanging, but it does set up a problem that will obviously have to be handled in a part two. “Buffy” and “Firefly”, move over! There is a new show in town. STELLAR!" - Huntress Reviews

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Sunday, April 1, 2007

The Prada Paradox - review!



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"THE PRADA PARADOX is a very engrossing ending to this fast-paced series. ... Ms. Kenner has put a slightly different twist on this version of the PSW game and readers will wait with baited breath to see how it all plays out. The suspense is high and because of Devi and Blake’s celebrity status, it is countered with a very public view that was not part of the original series that really ups the ante on the danger factor. THE PRADA PARADOX is enticing and fantastic suspense!"


Romance Junkies

Wednesday, March 28, 2007

CARPE DEMON - back cover copy



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Carpools. Crabgrass. Creatures from the depths of hell. Suburbia has its problems too...

Lots of women put their careers aside once the kids come along. Kate Connor, for instance, hasn't hunted a demon in ages...

That must be why she missed the one wandering through the pet food aisle of the San Diablo Wal-Mart. Unfortunately, he managed to catch her attention an hour later-when he crashed into the Connor house, intent on killing her.

Now Kate has to clean up the mess in her kitchen, dispose of a dead demon, and pull together a dinner party that will get her husband elected to County Attorney-all without arousing her family's suspicion. Worse yet, it seems the dead demon didn't come alone. He was accompanied by a High Demon named Goramesh who, for some unknown reason, intends to kill off the entire population of San Diablo.

It's time for Kate Connor to go back to work.

CARPE DEMON - excerpt



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CHAPTER ONE

My name is Kate Connor and I used to be a demon hunter.


I've often thought that would be a great pick-up line at parties, but with a teenager, a toddler and a husband, I'm hardly burning up the party circuit. And, of course, the whole demon hunting thing is one great big gargantuan secret. No one knows. Not my kids, not my husband, and certainly not folks at these imaginary parties where I'm regaling sumptuous hunks with tales from my demon-slaying, vampire-hunting, zombie-killing days.


Back in the day, I was pretty cool. Now I'm a glorified chauffeur for pep squad practice and Gymboree play dates. Less sex appeal, maybe, but I gotta admit I love it. I wouldn't trade my family for anything. And after fourteen years of doing the mommy thing, my demon hunting skills aren't exactly sharp.


All of which explains why I didn't immediately locate and terminate the demon wandering the pet food aisle of the San Diablo Wal-Mart. Instead, when I caught a whiff of that tell-tale stench, I naturally assumed it emanated exclusively from the bottom of a particularly cranky two-year-old. My two-year-old, to be exact.


"Mom! He did it again. What are you feeding him?" That from Alison, my particularly cranky fourteen-year- old. She, at least, didn't stink.


"Entrails and goat turds," I said absently. I sniffed the air again. Surely that was only Timmy I was smelling ...


"Mo-om." She managed to make the word two syllables. "You don't have to be gross."


"Sorry." I concentrated on my kids, pushing my suspicions firmly out of my mind. I was being silly. San Diablo had been demon free for years. That's why I lived here, after all.


Besides, the comings and goings of demons weren't my problem any more. Nowadays my problems leaned more toward the domestic rather than the demonic. Grocery shopping, budgeting, carpooling, mending, cleaning, cooking, parenting, and a thousand other "-ings." All the basic stuff that completely holds a family together and is taken entirely for granted by every person on the planet who doesn't happen to be a wife and stay at home mom. (And two points to you if you caught that little bit of vitriol. I'll admit to having a few issues about the whole topic, but, dammit, I work hard. And believe me, I'm no stranger to hard work. It was never easy, say, cleaning out an entire nest of evil, bloodthirsty preternatural creatures with only a few wooden stakes, some Holy Water and a can of Diet Coke. But I always managed. And it was a hell of a lot easier than getting a teenager, a husband and a toddler up and moving in the morning. Now that's a challenge.)


While Timmy fussed and whined, I swung the shopping cart around, aiming for the back of the store and a diaper changing station. It would have been a refined, fluid motion if Timmy hadn't taken the opportunity to reach out with those chubby little hands. His fingers collided with a stack of Fancy Feast cans and everything started wobbling. I let out one of those startled little "oh!" sounds, totally pointless and entirely ineffectual. There was a time when my reflexes were so sharp, so perfectly attuned, that I probably could have caught every one of those cans before they hit the ground. But that Katie wasn't with me in Wal-Mart, and I watched, helpless, as the cans clattered to the ground.


Another fine mess ...


Alison had jumped back as the cans fell, and she looked with dismay at the pile. As for the culprit, he was suddenly in a fabulous mood, clapping wildly and screaming "Big noise! Big noise!" while eyeing the remaining stacks greedily. I inched the cart further away from the shelves.


"Allie, do you mind? I need to go change him."


She gave me one of those put-upon looks that are genetically coded to appear as soon as a girl hits her teens.


"Take your pick," I said, using my most reasonable mother voice. "Clean up the cat food, or clean up your brother."


"I'll pick up the cans," she said, in a tone that perfectly matched her expression.


I took a deep breath and reminded myself that she was fourteen. Raging hormones. Those difficult adolescent years. More difficult, I imagined, for me than for her. "Why don't I meet you in the music aisle. Pick out a new CD and we'll add it to the pile."


Her face lit up. "Really?"


"Sure. Why not?" Yes, yes, don't even say it. I know 'why not.' Setting a bad precedent, not defining limits, blah, blah, blah. Throw all that psycho mumbo jumbo at me when you're wandering Wal-Mart with two kids and a list of errands as long as your arm. If I can buy a day's worth of cooperation for $14.99, then that's a deal I'm jumping all over. I'll worry about the consequences in therapy, thank you very much.


I caught another whiff of nastiness right before we hit the restrooms. Out of habit, I looked around. A feeble old man squinted at me from over the Wal-Mart Sunday insert, but other than him, there was nobody around but me and Timmy.


"P.U.," Timmy said, then flashed a toothy grin.


I smiled as I wrangled the stroller into the ladies' room. "P.U." was his newest favorite word, followed in close second by "Oh, man!" The "Oh, man!" I can blame on Nickelodeon and Dora the Explorer. For the other, I lay exclusive blame on my husband who has never been keen on changing dirty diapers and has managed, I'm convinced, over the short term of Timmy's life, to give the kid a complete and utter complex about bowel movements.


"You're P.U.," I said, hoisting him onto the little drop-down changing table. "But not for long. We'll clean you up, powder that bottom, and slap on a new diaper. You're gonna come out smelling like a rose, kid."


"Like a rose!" he mimicked, reaching for my earrings while I held him down and stripped him.


After a million wipes and one fresh diaper, Timmy was back in the stroller. We fetched Allie away from a display of newly released CDs, and she came more or less willingly, a Natalie Imbruglia CD clutched in her hand.


Ten minutes and eighty-seven dollars later I was strapping Timmy into his car seat while Allie loaded our bags into the minivan. As I was maneuvering through the parking lot, I caught one more glimpse of the old man from customer service. He was standing at the front of the store, between the Coke machines and the plastic kiddie pools, just staring out toward me. I pulled over. My plan was to pop out, say a word or two to him, take a good long whiff of his breath, and then be on my way.


I had my door half open when music started blasting from all six of the Odyssey's speakers at something close to one hundred decibels. I jumped, whipping around to face Allie who was already fumbling for the volume control and muttering "sorry, sorry."


I pushed the power button, which ended the Natalie Inbruglia surround sound serenade, but did nothing about Timmy who was now bawling his eyes out, probably from the pain associated with burst eardrums. I shot Allie a stern look, unfastened my seatbelt, and climbed into the backseat, all the while trying to make happy sounds that would calm my kid.


"I'm sorry, Mom," Allie said. To her credit she sounded sincere. "I didn't know the volume was up that high." She maneuvered into the backseat on the other side of Timmy and started playing peek-a-boo with Boo Bear, a bedraggled blue bear that's been Timmy's constant companion since he was five months old. At first Timmy ignored her, but after a while he joined in, and I felt a little surge of pride for my daughter.


"Good for you," I said.


She shrugged and kissed her brother's forehead.


I remembered the old man and reached for the door, but as I looked out at the sidewalk, I saw that he was gone.


"What's wrong?" Allie asked.


I hadn't realized I was frowning, so I forced a smile and concentrated on erasing the worry lines from my forehead. "Nothing," I said. And then, since that was the truth, I repeated myself. "Nothing at all."


***

For the next three hours we bounced from store to store as I went down my list for the day: bulk goods at Wal-Mart - check; shoes for Timmy at Payless - check; Happy Meal for Timmy to ward off crankiness - check; new shoes for Allie from DSW - check; new ties for Stuart from T.J. Maxx - check. By the time we hit the grocery store, the Happy Meal had worn off, both Timmy and Allie were cranky, and I wasn't far behind. Mostly, though, I was distracted.


That old man was still on my mind, and I was irritated with myself for not letting the whole thing drop. But something about him bugged me. As I pushed the shopping cart down the dairy aisle, I told myself I was being paranoid. For one thing, demons tend not to infect the old or feeble. (Makes sense when you think about it; if you're going to suddenly become corporeal, you might as well shoot for young, strong and virile). For another, I'm pretty sure there'd been no demon stench, just a particularly pungent toddler diaper. Of course, that didn't necessarily rule out demon proximity. All the demons I'd ever run across tended to pop breath mints like candy, and one even owned the majority share of stock in a mouthwash manufacturer. Even so, common sense told me there was no demon.


Mostly, though, I needed to drop the subject because it simply wasn't my problem anymore. I may have been a Level Four Demon Hunter once upon a time, but that time was fifteen years ago. I was retired now. Out of the loop. Even more, I was out of practice.


I turned down the cookie and chips aisle, careful not to let Timmy see as I tossed two boxes of Teddy Grahams into the cart. Behind me, Allie lingered in front of the breakfast cereal, and I could practically see her mind debating between the uber-healthy Kashi and her favorite Lucky Charms. I tried to focus on my grocery list (were we really out of All Bran?) but my brain kept coming back to the old man.


Surely I was just being paranoid. I mean, why would a demon willingly come to San Diablo, anyway? The California coastal town was built on a hillside, its criss-cross of streets leading up to the Cathedral that perched at the top of the cliffs, a focal point for the entire town. In addition to being stunningly beautiful, the Cathedral was famous for its holy relics, and it drew both tourists and pilgrims. The devout came to San Diablo for the same reason the demons stayed away-the Cathedral was holy ground. Evil simply wasn't welcome there.


That was also the primary reason Eric and I had retired in San Diablo. Ocean views, the fabulous California weather, and absolutely no demons or other nasties to ruin our good time. San Diablo was a great place to have kids, friends, and the normal life he and I had both craved. Even now, I thank God that we had ten good years together.


"Mom?" Allie squeezed my free hand and I realized I'd been holding a freezer door open, staring blankly at a collection of frozen pizzas. "You okay?" From the way her nose crinkled, I knew she suspected I was thinking about her dad.


"Fine," I lied, blinking furiously. "I was trying to decide between pepperoni or sausage for dinner tonight, and then I got sidetracked thinking about making my own pizza dough."


"The last time you tried that, you got dough stuck on the light fixture and Stuart had to climb up and dig it out."


"Thanks for reminding me." But it had worked; we'd both moved past our melancholy. Eric had died just after Allie's ninth birthday, and although she and Stuart got along famously, I knew she missed her dad as much as I did. We talked about it on occasion, sometimes remembering the funny times, and sometimes, like when we visited the cemetery, the memories were filled with tears. But now wasn't the time for either, and we both knew it.


I squeezed her hand back. My girl was growing up. Already she was looking out for me, and it was sweet and heartbreaking all at the same time. "What do you think?" I asked. "Pepperoni?"


"Stuart likes sausage better," she said.


"We'll get both," I said, knowing Allie's distaste for sausage pizza. "Want to rent a movie on the way home? We'll have to look fast so the food doesn't spoil, but surely there's something we've been wanting to see."


Her eyes lit up. "We could do a Harry Potter marathon."


I stifled a grimace. "Why not? It's been at least a month since our last HP marathon."


She rolled her eyes, then retrieved Timmy's sippy cup and adjusted Boo Bear. I knew I was stuck.


My cell phone rang. I checked the caller ID, then leaned against the grocery cart as I answered. "Hey, hon."


"I'm having the day from hell," Stuart said, which was a poor choice of words considering that got me thinking about demons all over again. "And I'm afraid I'm going to ruin your day, too."


"I can hardly wait."


"Any chance you were planning something fabulous for dinner? Enough to serve eight, with cocktails before and some fancy dessert after?"


"Frozen pizza and Harry Potter," I said, certain I knew where this was going to end up.


"Ah," Stuart said. In the background, I could hear the eraser end of his pencil tapping against his desktop. Beside me, Allie pretended to bang her head against the glass freezer door. "Well, that would serve eight," he said. "But it may not have quite the cachet I was hoping for."


"It's important?"


"Clark thinks it is." Clark Curtis was San Diablo's lame duck County Attorney, and he favored my husband to step into his shoes. Right now, Stuart had a low political profile, working for peanuts as an assistant county attorney in the real estate division. Stuart was months away from formally announcing, but if he wanted to have any hope of winning the election, he needed to start playing the political game, shaking hands, currying favors, and begging campaign contributions. Although a little nervous, he was excited about the campaign, and flattered by Clark's support. As for me, the thought of being a politician's wife was more than a little unnerving.


"A house full of attorneys," I said, trying to think what the heck I could feed them. Or, better yet, if there was anyway to get out of this.
Allie sank down to the floor, her back against the freezer, her forehead on her knees.


"And judges."


"Oh, great." This was the part about domesticity that I didn't enjoy. Entertaining just isn't my thing. I hated it, actually. Always had, always would. But my husband, the aspiring politician, loved me anyway. Imagine that.


"I tell you what. I'll have Joan call some caterers. You don't have to do anything except be home by six to meet them. Folks are coming at seven, and I'll be sure to be there by six-thirty to give you a hand."


Now, see? That's why I love him. But I couldn't accept. Guilt welled in my stomach just from the mere suggestion. This was the man I loved, after all. And I couldn't be bothered to pull together a small dinner party? What kind of a heartless wench was I?


"How about rigatoni?" I asked, wondering which was worse, heartless wench or guilty sucker. "And a spinach salad? And I can pick up some appetizers and the stuff for my apple tart." That pretty much exhausted my guest-worthy repertoire, and Stuart knew it.


"Sounds perfect," he said. "But are you sure? It's already four."


"I'm sure," I said, not sure at all, but it was his career, not mine, that was riding on my culinary talents.


"You're the best," he said. "Let me talk to Allie."


I passed the phone to my daughter, who was doing a good impression of someone so chronically depressed she was in need of hospitalization.

She lifted a weary hand, took the phone, and pressed it to her ear.

"Yeah?"


While they talked, I focused my attention on Timmy who was being remarkably good. "Nose!" he said when I pointed to my nose. "Ear!" I pointed to my other ear. "More ear!" The kid was literal, that was for sure. I leaned in close and gave him big wet sloppy kisses on his neck while he giggled and kicked.


With my head cocked to the side like that, I caught a glimpse of Allie, who no longer looked morose. If anything, she looked supremely pleased with herself. I wondered what she and Stuart were scheming, and suspected it was going to involve me carpooling a load of teenage girls to the mall.


"What?" I asked as Allie hung up.


"Stuart said it was okay with him if I spent the night at Mindy's. Can I? Please?"


I ran my fingers through my hair and tried not to fantasize about killing my husband. The reasonable side of me screamed that he was only trying to help. The annoyed side of me retorted that he'd just sent my help packing, and I now had to clean the house, cook dinner and keep Timmy entertained all on my own.


"Pleeeeeeze?"


"Fine. Sure. Great idea." I started pushing the cart toward the dairy aisle while Timmy babbled something entirely unintelligible. "You can get your stuff and head to Mindy's as soon as we get home."


She did a little hop-skip number, then threw her arms around my neck.

"Thanks, Mom! You're the best."


"Mmmm. Remember this the next time you're grounded."


She pointed at her chest, her face ultra-innocent. "Me? In trouble? I think you have me confused with some other daughter."


I tried to scowl, but didn't quite manage it, and she knew she'd won me over. Well, what the heck. I was a woman of the new Millennium. I'd staked vampires, defeated demons, and incapacitated incubi. How hard could a last-minute dinner party be?


***

Mindy Dupont lives at our exact address, only one street over. Once the girls became inseparable, Laura Dupont and I followed suit, and now she's more like a sister than a neighbor. I knew she wouldn't care if Allie stayed over, so I didn't bother calling ahead. I just bought a chocolate cake for bribery/thank-you purposes, then added it to Allie's pile as she set off across our connecting back yards to Laura's patio. (They're not technically connected. A paved city easement runs between us, and it's fenced off on both sides. Last year Stuart convinced the city that they should install gates on either side, so as to facilitate any city workers who might need to get back there. I've never once seen a utility man wandering behind my house, but those gates have sure made life easier for me, Laura, and the girls. Have I mentioned I adore my husband?)


A little less than ten minutes later I had Timmy settled in front of a Wiggles video, and I was pushing a dustmop over our hardwood floors, trying to get all the nooks and crannies a judge might notice, and ignoring all the other spots. I was pretty certain there was a dustbunny convention under the sofa, but until the conventioneers started wandering out into the rest of the house, I wasn't going to worry about it.


The phone rang, and I lunged for it.


"Allie says you're doing the dinner party thing. Need help?"


As much as I loved her, Laura was an even more harried hostess than me. "I've got it all under control. My clothes are laid out, the sauce is simmering, the appetizers are on cookie sheets ready to go in the oven, and I even managed to find eight wine glasses." I took a deep breath. "And they match."


"Well, aren't you just a little Martha Stewart? In the pre-prison, domestic goddess days, of course. And the munchkin?"


"In his jammies in front of the television."


"All finished with bath time?"


"No bath. Extra videos."


She released a long-suffering sigh. "Finally, a flaw. Now I don't have to hate you after all."


I laughed. "Hate me all you want for managing to pull this together. It's a feat worthy of your hatred." I didn't point out that I hadn't actually pulled it off yet. I wasn't counting this evening as a success until the guests went home happy, patting their tummies and promising Stuart all sorts of political favors. "Just don't hate me for dumping Allie on you. You sure it's okay?"


"Oh, yeah. They're locked in Mindy's room trying out all my Clinique samples. If they get bored, we'll go get ice cream. But I don't see boredom in their future. I've got two years worth of samples in that box. I figure that works out to at least four hours of free time. I'm going to make some popcorn, pop in one of my old Cary Grant videos, and wait up for Paul."


"Oh, sure, rub it in," I said.


She laughed. "You've got your own Cary Grant."


"And he'll be home soon. I better run."


She clicked off after making me promise to call if I needed anything. But for once, I actually had it under control. Amazing. I tucked the dustmop in the utility closet, then headed back to take a final look at the living room. Comfortable and presentable. Some might even say it had a casual elegance. The dancing dinosaur on the television screen really didn't add to the ambience, but I'd close up the entertainment center as soon as Timmy went to bed.


In the meantime, I needed to go finish the food. I gave Timmy a kiss on the cheek, got no reaction, and realized he'd been completely mesmerized by four gyrating Australian men. If he were fifteen, I'd worry. At twenty-five months, I figured we were okay.


I was running through my mental checklist as I headed back into the kitchen. A flash of movement outside the kitchen window caught my attention, and I realized I'd forgotten to feed the cats.


I considered waiting until after the party, decided that wasn't fair, then crossed to the breakfast area where we keep the cat food bowls on little mats next to the table. I'd just bent to pick up the water dish when the sound of shattering glass filled the room.


I was upright almost instantly, but that wasn't good enough. The old man from Wal-Mart bounded through the wrecked window, surprisingly agile for an octogenarian, and launched himself at me. We tumbled to the ground, rolling across the floor and into the actual kitchen, until we finally came to a stop by the stove. He was on top of me, his bony hands pinning down my wrists, and his face over mine. His breath reeked of rancid meat and cooked cauliflower, and I made a vow to never, ever ignore my instincts again.


"Time to die, Hunter," he said, his voice low and breathy and not the least bit old sounding.


A little riffle of panic shot through my chest. He shouldn't know I used to be a Hunter. I was retired. New last name. New home town. This was bad. And his words concerned me a heck of a lot more than the kill-fever I saw in his eyes.


I didn't have time to worry about it, though, because the guy was shifting his hands from my wrists to my neck, and I had absolutely no intention of getting caught in a death grip.


As he shifted his weight, I pulled to the side, managing to free up my leg. I brought it up, catching his groin with my knee. He howled, but didn't let go. That's the trouble with demons; kneeing them in the balls just doesn't have the effect it should. Which meant I was still under him, smelling his foul breath, and frustrated as hell because I didn't need this shit. I had a dinner to fix.


From the living room, I heard Timmy yelling, "Momma! Momma! Big noise! Big noise!" and I knew he was abandoning the video to come find out where the big noise came from.


I couldn't remember if I'd closed the baby gate, and there was no way my two year old was going to see his mom fighting a demon. I might be out of practice, but right then, I was motivated. "I'll be right there," I yelled, then pulled on every resource in my body and flipped over, managing to hop on Pops. I scraped at his face, aiming for his eyes, but only scratched his skin.


He let out a wail that sounded like it came straight from the depths of hell, and lurched toward me. I sprang back and up, surprised and at the same time thrilled that I was in better shape than I realized. I made a mental note to go to the gym more often even as I kicked out and caught him in the chin. My thigh screamed in pain, and I knew I'd pay for this in the morning.


Another screech from the demon, this time harmonized by Timmy's cries and the rattle of the baby gate that was, thank God, locked. Pops rushed me, and I howled as he slammed me back against the granite countertops. One hand was tight around my throat, and I struggled to breath, lashing out to absolutely no effect.


The demon laughed, his eyes filled with so much pleasure that it pissed me off even more. "Useless bitch," he said, his foul breath on my face. "You may as well die, Hunter. You surely will when my Master's army rises to claim victory in his name."


That didn't sound good, but I couldn't think about it right then. The lack of oxygen was getting to me. I was confused, my head swimming, everything starting to fade to a blackish purple. But then Timmy's howls dissolved into whimpers. A renewed burst of anger and fear gave me strength. My hand groped along the counter until I found a wine glass. My fingers closed around it, and I slammed it down, managing to break off the base.


The room was starting to swim, and I needed to breathe desperately. I had one chance, and one chance only. With all the strength I could muster I slammed the stem of the wine glass toward his face, then sagged in relief when I felt it hit home, slipping through the soft tissue of his eyeball with very little resistance.


I heard a whoosh and saw the familiar shimmer as the demon was sucked out of the old man, and then the body collapsed to my floor. I sagged against my counter, drawing gallons of air into my lungs. As soon as I felt steady again, I focused on the corpse on my newly-cleaned floor and sighed. Unlike the movies, demons don't dissolve in a puff of smoke or ash, and right as I was staring down at the body, wondering how the heck I was going to get rid of it before the party, I heard the familiar squeak of the patio door, and then Allie's frantic voice in the living room. "Mom! Mom!"


Timmy's yelps joined my daughter's, and I closed my eyes and prayed for strength.


"Don't come in here, sweetie. I broke some glass and it's all over the floor." As I talked, I hoisted my dead foe by the underarms and dragged him to the pantry. I slid him inside and slammed the door.


"What?" Allie said, appearing around the corner with Timmy in her arms.


I counted to five and decided this wasn't the time to lecture my daughter about listening or following directions. "I said don't come in here." I moved quickly toward her, blocking her path. "There's glass all over the place."


"Jeez, Mom." Her eyes were wide as she took in the mess that was now my kitchen. "Guess you can't give me any more grief about my room, huh?"


I rolled my eyes.


She glanced at the big picture window behind our breakfast table. The one that no longer had glass. "What happened?"


"Softball," I said. "Just crashed right through."


"Wow. I guess Brian finally hit a homer, huh?"


"Looks that way." Nine-year-old Brian lived next door and played softball in his backyard constantly. I felt a little guilty blaming the mess on him, but I'd deal with that later.


"I'll get the broom."


She plunked Timmy onto his booster seat, then headed for the pantry. I caught her arm. "I'll take care of it sweetie."


"But you've got the party!"


"Exactly. And that's why I need to be able to focus." That really made no sense, but she didn't seem to notice. "Listen, just put Timmy to bed for me, then head on back to Mindy's. Really. I'll be fine."


She looked unsure. "You're sure?"


"Absolutely. It's all under control. Why'd you come back, anyway?"


"I forgot my new CD."


I should have guessed. I picked Timmy back up (who, thankfully, was quiet now and watching the whole scene with interest). "Put the munchkin down and you'll be doing me a huge favor."


She frowned, but didn't argue as she took Timmy from me.


"'Night, sweetie," I said, then gave both her and Timmy a kiss.


She still looked dubious, but she readjusted her grip on Timmy and headed toward the stairs. I let out a little sigh of relief and glanced at the clock. I had exactly forty-three minutes to clean up the mess in my kitchen, dispose of a dead demon, and pull together a dinner party. After that, I could turn my attention to figuring out what a demon was doing in San Diablo. And, more important, why he had attacked me.


But first, the rigatoni.


Did I have my priorities straight, or what?

THE PRADA PARADOX - excerpt



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CHAPTER 1


Someone put a bullet in my boyfriend's brain!

As I race down the street, propelled by terror, I can still see the image in my mind, and the thought of it makes my stomach turn. The blood and gore on his pillow. The gaping hole above his ear.

My heart stutters and a stitch burns in my side. Move, Mel, I think. Just move! I'm barefooted, and tiny stones poke into the soles of my feet. I ignore the pain and press on toward safety. Toward home.

I'm almost there, and I keep my focus on that simple green door. Reach the door, open the door, through the door. After that doesn't matter. Not yet. Which is good, because right now my brain can't process any more than those three simple commands. It's too filled with terror and rage and confusion to digest rationale thought.

Around me, bright light from fixtures hung precariously on steel poles illuminates dark shadows, giving this Manhattan street an eerie quality. I barely notice, though. Just as I barely notice the people standing nearby in clusters, walkie-talkies and cell phones silent in their hands. I glance over them, searching the crowd for the killer. I know deep down that he's not there, but I shove that knowledge away and search. I have to be thorough. I have to be certain.

No one suspicious jumps out at me, and I allow myself one tiny glimpse of hope. My door is right there. Twenty yards. Fifteen. Ten.

And then I'm there. My hand closes around the doorknob, the metal cool against my hands. I twist the knob violently, then shove the door open. One step and I'm over the threshold and –

"Cut!" Tobias Harmon, the director, yells from across the street. "Beautiful, sweetheart! I think we got it this time! That was brilliant. Absolutely brilliant."

I nod acknowledgement, but don't look at him. I'm too busy shaking off the fear that I've been wallowing in for the last five takes.

My name is Devi Taylor. I'm an actress. And for me, this part is the role of a lifetime.




CHAPTER 2


"This bit here," I say to my assistant, Susie. "Does the dialogue sound cheesy to you?"

She takes the script and reads it, her mouth moving as her eyes skim over the words. After a second, one shoulder lifts daintily. "I dunno."

"O-kay," I say, patiently. "But what's your gut impression? Did it feel natural? Do you think that's really the way the conversation between Mel and Stryker went?" The scene we're talking about is on schedule for tomorrow, our second day of principal photography. It's the scene where they first meet, and Melanie Prescott (aka moi) is absolutely certain that Matthew Stryker (the hero) is trying to kill her.

"Um, I guess so?"

I silently count to three, then tilt my head back so that I have a full view of her face. Wide eyes, lanky legs, overly bleached hair, completely vapid expression. Honestly, the next time my manager asks me to do him a favor and hire his wife's cousin's daughter's college roommate as an assistant I'm going to run as fast as I can in the opposite direction. Except, of course, he posed that question while we were at The Ivy on Ocean Avenue in Santa Monica, and the opposite direction would have had me body surfing without a board.

In other words, I chickened out when I had the opportunity and now I'm stuck with Indecisive Barbie.

"There's not a right answer," I say, hoping I sound encouraging. "The dialogue just sounds a little off to me. So I want to get your opinion, too."

"Right. I get it. Thanks."

"And?" With great restraint I manage not to make twirling "come on already" motions with my hand.

"I … well … um …. Have you asked Blake?"

"No," I say, unable to dodge the invisible steel bar that immediately straightens my spine. "I haven't talked with him today." A fact that I was particularly proud of since he'd dragged his sorry ass down to the backlot today, despite not being on the call sheet. I'd managed to avoid him since I arrived for my five a.m. make-up call, and really hoped that my winning streak would continue.

Another shrug from my wishy-washy assistant. "It's just that, you know, since you play Mel and he plays Stryker maybe it makes more sense for you to be asking him about the dialogue."

Out of the mouths of babes. And I mean "babes" in the total Hollywood sense of the word. Blonde. Stacked. You get the picture.

The irritating truth is that she's right. I should be talking to Blake. Except, I don't want to act opposite Blake, much less talk to him. Not anymore, anyway.

"So, like, do you want me to go see if Mr. Harmon needs you anymore today?"

"Sure," I say, suddenly thrilled with the prospect of being left alone. "And could you do me a fav? I'm completely parched. Go track down an Evian and some lemon for me." I happen to know that craft services ran out of lemon slices around eleven. She'll be gone for hours.

She gives me a mini-salute and then leaves. I sigh and close my eyes, my thumb idly rubbing the edge of the script as my mind begins to drift. The reason I'm so pumped up about making sure the dialogue is perfect is that I know this scene's going to be a tough one. Not only because of the emotional intensity required to nail a scene like that, but because of the personal history between me and Blake Atwood.

In the movie, Blake plays Stryker, an ex-Marine turned reluctant-bodyguard to Mel. In real life, Blake is my ex, a little fact that you probably already know if you've gone grocery shopping recently. Because despite my best efforts to keep my private life private, our entire relationship – from courtship to our recent pyrotechnical breakup -- was played out on the covers of magazines ranging from Entertainment Weekly to People to Us. My mother doesn't even bother to call me anymore to find out what's new in my love life. She just reads The Enquirer while standing in the check-out line at the grocery store.

And the coverage wasn't limited to the tabloids and the weekly's. No, even the "classier" mags got in on the buzz. When we were cast to star in the movie together (and still quite cozy with each other), Blake did an interview with Maxim. I let my publicity team talk me into doing an interview and photo spread with Vanity Fair. (That, of course, was a Very Big Deal, since everyone in Hollywood knows that I've been Miss Ultra-Private these days.)

All in all, our romance blossomed within a circus of tabloids, Internet rumors, and obnoxious paparazzi. And then when we broke up a little over two weeks ago … well, that's when the press really went crazy. There was speculation, gossip, innuendo, and the inevitable interviews with former co-stars and directors. The works.
All in all, a major headache. Especially for someone like me who has a hate-hate relationship with the tabloids.

I didn't always feel that way. Once upon a time, I was the tabloids' favorite It girl. The young hip celebrity who be-bopped to all the clubs, had a good time with my friends, and was more than happy to let snippets of my life show up in The Enquirer or on E!

That all changed five years ago when a deranged fan attacked me in my house. He stripped me, touched me, hurt me, and completely humiliated me. He's whispered things and called me his "darling Devi." Then he'd left without a trace, the police completely unable to find him.

Survive something like that, and it alters the way you look at the world.
Immediately after the attack, everyone expected me to be a basket case. Even me. But then time passed and my friends and colleagues started suggesting that maybe I was obsessing a bit. That the move and the alarms and the moratorium on publicity were overkill. That I should simply "move on" and be the same happy go lucky party girl again.

Like hell.

Still, maybe they were right. I don't know. But I couldn't do it. All I knew was that I was scared. And I was a complete emotional wreck. I started popping anti-anxiety meds. I slept with the light on. And I absolutely, positively went ballistic if anything was published about me that didn't originate from my own PR team.

And since it's near impossible to keep the paparazzi from snapping pics if you're out in public, I pretty much stopped going out. I turned into a recluse, hiding out in my newly purchased Beverly Hills home (complete with state-of-the-art security measures and a realtor who swore on her mother's grave that my address would never be revealed).

Of course I still went out into the world, but I was careful. I shopped in the Valley instead of on the west side. I wore baggy clothes, sunglasses and baseball caps. I did everything I could not to stand out.

The good news: it worked.

The bad news: it worked.

Not only did the paparazzi forget about me, but so did the industry. I didn't work for three years while I sorted it all out. For a while, I even considered quitting the business. But I don't know any other life. When you start out at age four as the fresh new face in a Spielberg movie, star in a few blockbusters after that, then bounce to a television show that lasts six years, you realize that fantasy is the only life you know.

The thing is, I may have been in some major blockbusters as a kid, but once I emerged from my three year cocoon, I was no longer the hot young thing. I'd moved from being an "actress" to being a "celebrity." And not even an A-list celebrity.

Honestly, the whole situation sucked, especially for a girl like me who just wanted to act again. I'd like to say that this business is all about your acting chops, but the truth is, it isn't. Yes, I landed some parts in low-budget indie films after my seclusion, but they hardly broke box office records, if you know what I mean. Once you disappear in Hollywood, it can be hard to come back with a bang. That one, I learned the hard way.

But like I said, this is the only world I know … and the truth is I like it. And, yes, I'm competitive.

I want the blockbusters. I want my old career back.

And that's why I jumped when Tobias came knocking. This movie, The Givenchy Code, is set-up to be the studio's tentpole blockbuster. It's a flick that can put me back on the map. And I leaped at the chance to star in it.

I didn't hesitate even when Tobias made it absolutely clear that I had to shed my disdain of the whole publicity machine. He didn't go so far as to say that I had to put on a happy face and smile, smile, smile for the paparazzi, but he really didn't need to. I knew what he wanted from me. Buzz. And boy did he get it in spades.

And the truth? I didn't really mind. When he signed me on, it had been over four years since the attack, and I knew that I needed to lighten up. So when Tobias announced that he wanted Blake to play Stryker, I loosened up even more. After all, I'd been dating Blake for months by that time. And how cool that I was set to co-star against my boyfriend?

Besides, Givenchy is Blake's first movie. He's been behind the scenes for years, choreographing fight scenes and doing the technical consultant gig for martial arts sequences. But he's never been on-camera until now. And what good is your big Hollywood break without tons of publicity? (Not that my opinion mattered too much in the long run. Elliot Kelly, Blake's manager, was absolutely adamant that his boy make the cover of every gossip rag in the country. Elliot, in my opinion, is a total ass. But he knows how to handle a career.)

So there we were, basking in the warm and loving glow of the camera flashbulbs and the entertainment reporters' congratulations on our hot-and-heavy romance. Gossip was swirling, pictures were posted, and I wasn't even freaking out. I had a great part, a great career, and a great boyfriend. I was back on my feet and back squarely in the public eye.

Finally, I'd put the assault behind me.

Or so I thought.

Things changed when Blake and I broke up. Suddenly the tabloids that had seemed warm and friendly were harsh and invasive. Bits of my life were sneaking into the press that had no business being there. Personal things that I longed to keep private were being discussed in break-rooms all across America. Bloggers speculated about my career and my love life. And whenever I was out in public, cameras snapped as the paparazzi tried to get a candid shot of my broken-hearted face.

I desperately wanted to call for a second take, but life doesn't work that way. Life happens once, and then it's in the can. So I was stuck. Stuck playing against an ex-lover. Stuck with my life plastered over newsstands across America.
Most of all, I was stuck with the fear that by letting my relationship back into the tabloids I'd opened a door. I'd attracted attention.

And I'm afraid it's going to start up all over again.

Tuesday, March 27, 2007

THE GOOD GHOUL'S GUIDE TO GETTING EVEN - reviews


"Ms. Kenner proves that she can write for all ages with this first young
adult novel. Beth's narration combines angst and humor in a sharp, witty
fashion. I truly look forward to seeing how she will deal with the problems
she finds herself facing at the end of the story. This may be technically a
kids' book, but it is written so intelligently that anyone who likes a good
read should add it to their TBR pile."

Amanda Kilgore for Eternal Night

Click here to order the book!

THE GOOD GHOUL'S GUIDE TO GETTING EVEN - excerpt




Click here to order the book!

PROLOGUE

If he weren't already dead, I swear I would kill Stephen Wills. I mean, the undead jerkwad completely ruined my sixteenth birthday. It's one thing not to get the car my dad promised me, but to be turned into a vampire? I'm sorry, but that's taking bad karma to a whole new level.

But maybe I'm getting ahead of myself. My name is Elizabeth Frasier and I'm sixteen years old (dead?). I'm a junior at Waterloo High in Austin, Texas. Or, at least, I was a junior until I woke up dead in a field behind the school. I'm pretty sure that the Austin Independent School District's budget doesn't cover the education of the undead.

Austin, you might be interested to know, has the largest urban colony of Mexican free-tailed bats in the world. I've known that fact for years. More recently, I've learned that Austin has a pretty hefty population of teenage vampires. Coincidence? I think not.

The thing is, I don't believe in coincidences. I believe in cause and effect, set-up and payoff. I've spent almost sixteen years' worth of weekends parked in front of a movie screen, and I know that it's always the stupid coincidences that have the audience groaning and throwing popcorn. But make the stupid coincidence part of a bigger plan, and we're right there on the edge of our seats.

It's like that in life, too. Something might look like a coincidence, but it's probably part of some overall scheme. Just because you don't see the big picture doesn't mean it's not there. And if you don't watch out, you might end up getting burned.

So you see, I should have realized. I should have known. But this is Stephen Wills we're talking about. Hunky, gorgeous, dreamy Stephen Wills. And all I can do is plead temporary insanity.

It started, like so many things in high school, during lunch...


CHAPTER 1


"Are you going to eat your banana?" Jenny was staring mournfully into the purple Container Store lunch sack that her mom had packed for her that morning.

We were in our usual seats at a small table tucked in the corner of the cafeteria, near the window that overlooked the faculty parking lot. The table sat six. Two chairs had been dragged away for a cluster of boys who had their Gameboys wired together and were getting down and dirty with some game or other.

The other two chairs were empty. I expected they'd stay that way. It's not that Jenny and I weren't popular. (Well, we weren't, but that's not the point.) It's just that we were average. And we'd been snagging this table for ourselves for the last two years. I edit the school newspaper, and Jenny's our weekly columnist, so we usually had articles and pictures spread all over the place.

Jenny also writes The Waterloo Watch, an anonymous blog that's hugely popular. But I'm the only one who knows about that. And since Jenny can't reveal herself as the brains behind The Watch, she's gotten no coolness mileage out of the blog at all.

Which is too bad, really. Because at the moment, the whole school's all hyped up with this Voice of Waterloo contest to pick a guy or a girl who'll be the on-campus reporter for a news segment one of the local television stations is starting.

The Waterloo Watch has been running a poll, but I hardly needed to see it to guess who was in the running. Either Stephen Wills or Tamara McKnight. Why? Because only one month ago they were elected homecoming king and queen. And, honestly, the student body just isn't that imaginative.

Even so, Jenny swears that we have a shot, too. Her theory is that because we control who's in the news, that makes us cooler than the kids in the popular cliques.

“We have the power," she's always saying. "And that makes us sooooo much cooler than Stephen Wills and Tamara McKnight and their whole crowd.”

Um, whatever.

It's sort of like the whole tree falling in a forest thing: If you're popular but nobody knows, are you really popular at all?

I'm thinking the answer is no.

I passed Jenny the banana, then shoved my uneaten tuna sandwich back into the sack and crumpled it up. I so wasn't up for food right now.

"So why are you eating my lunch?" I asked, nodding toward her lunch sack. "Nothing good in there?"

"Peanut butter." She made a face. "My mother's sole purpose in life is to torture me. She knows this stuff is loaded with calories. I'll be the size of a blimp if I eat this."

Since Jenny was about as big around as Lindsay Lohan after a fit of bulimia, I wasn't terrible worried about impending blimpiness.

"Trade?" she asked, starting to peel the banana.

I shook my head. "Can't eat. Nervous." I'd missed first and second periods in order to audition for one of the drill team's replacement slots, and I was counting down the minutes until the faculty advisor posted the names of all the girls who were getting a callback.

"I still can't believe you actually auditioned," Jenny said, since I'm not exactly the drill team type even though I've taken dance and gymnastics since I was three years old. "My mom wanted me to, and I told her I wouldn't even consider participating in such a sexist, anti-feminist ritual." Jenny's all about sniffing out and eradicating sexism.

I shrugged. "Yeah, well, you know." Just so the record's straight, the drill team hasn't ever been a huge ambition of mine, but right now I'm all about rounding out my transcript. I've got the academic thing down with my grades and three years of AP science and math classes. And I've got the leadership thing down with the school paper. All of which sounds really good if you're chatting with your grandparents, but I knew my application needed more. I needed something on there that proved I didn't have to be the one in charge. Colleges like to see that you're a team player. That's very, very important. All the how-to books say so.

Even my mom (who's a pain about most things) is totally behind my crusade to up my college appeal. My mom's a trial attorney, and her motto is that you can never be too careful or too prepared. Which was why she made me take my SATs early, and then apply to a ton of in-state schools, just so I'd have something lined up if the Shangri-La of higher education turned me down.

Now I've got conditional acceptance letters and one early admission invitation from four schools in Texas. But those are just my back-up plan. My Shangra-La is the Tisch School at NYU (with UCLA and USC running close behind). True, I hadn't informed my parents of the whole Tisch Is Nirvana plan, but that was just a minor oversight. Because no matter how much my parents might be gunning for me to be a doctor or a lawyer, I just didn't see that happening. Instead, I was going to make great movies. I saw myself as the next Stephen Spielberg, but without the scraggly beard and baseball cap. Or the next Coen Brothers, only without the sibling. Or Sophia Coppola. Only with, you know, a plot.

Whatever. The point is, I want to get accepted to Tisch, and that meant I was doing everything – everything – to make sure my application was so stellar that there was no way they could turn me down. (Technically, I think they can now turn me down for being dead. Which sucks. And which is why Stephen Wills was going to pay big time. But while I was waiting for drill team callbacks that day, I was still blissfully alive and unaware of my impending vampiness.)
I needed a perfect college application, and that meant extra-curriculars, and that meant drill team.

Which is why I was totally stressing about whether I'd made the team.

"I hate this," I told Jenny. And I did, too. I always know how I did on tests and stuff. But right then, I had no clue what was going to happen, and it was making my stomach jump around in a really unpleasant way.

"So, are you too nervous to eat anything at all?" Jenny asked, and this time when I looked up she was holding a chocolate cupcake with a single candle. "Happy birthday!"

"Oh, man!" Honestly, I thought I was going to cry. "No one else remembered."

"No one?" Her tone was bland, but I knew she understood. My parents divorced six months ago. You'd think I would have suddenly been their priority, but it hadn't worked out that way. Instead, they just shifted me between Mom's house and Dad's apartment, and tried to pretend like everything was normal. Let me clue you in here: everything was far from normal. Very far.

"Whatever," I said, running my finger over the icing and then sucking it off.

"Maybe they're just waiting until tonight. Your dad said he was getting you a car, right?"

"He hinted heavily." A few months ago, my dad got me a part-time job in the lab of a nearby hospital where he has privileges, and last weekend he came into the lab and dropped some pretty heavy hints. But this was my dad we're talking about – a man who can remember the diagnosis of a patient from fifteen years ago, but can't remember to buy milk – so I knew better than to get my hopes up.

"Hmm," Jenny said.

"Hmm," I agreed. Then I took another fingerful of chocolate.

Jenny looked around the lunchroom, as if expecting my dad to drive a Mini Cooper into the room at any second. "Beth!" she hissed, whipping back so fast her ponytail smacked her in the face. "Ladybell just got here!" Ladybell is the drill team coach and – yes – that's really her name.

My stomach quit doing flips and started doing jazz hands, fluttering so much that I thought I'd barf up the tiny bit of frosting I'd just ingested. This was it, I thought. Fail, and my application's screwed.

Even worse, it would be the first time I'd failed at anything at school.

And honestly, I wasn't really sure I could deal with that.

Monday, February 12, 2007

THE CAT'S FANCY - related books


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Did you know that Hoop and Deena (who first appear in The Cat's Fancy) appear in all of the Aphrodite novels?

THE CAT'S FANCY - reviews


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"...charming and magical." - Romantic Times

"...funny, witty, and unbelievably erotic." - Affaire de Coeur

"deserves a place on any reader's Keeper shelf..."
Wordweaving

"THE CAT'S FANCY delivers a sensual, paranormal romance with a fresh twist and endearing cats...uh, characters. Add Julie Kenner to your authors to watch list. She's definitely on mine." HeartRateReviews

"With a marvelous leap of imagination, Julie Kenner's THE CAT'S FANCY creates a magical world of dreams and love. With the grace of feline, the heart of a lion, and the passion of panther, the tale lures and beguiles the reader with its rich imagination and humor. THE CAT'S FANCY is definitely the cat's meow." Wordweaving

"THE CAT’S FANCY is 120% pure delight. ...Ms. Kenner works out her itty-bitty secondary romance with ease by giving the most unlikely pair the perfect chance to find love in a crazy world. With smooth transitions and a strong voice, I think Julie Kenner has found her place in romance. Woohoo! Every page is better than the next and worth the time it will take you to devour them. THE CAT’S FANCY is a dream come true for romance lover’s and is not to be missed." Karen Williams for The Bookshelf and Rhapsody Magazine

"Lovers of Disney's movie "The Little Mermaid" will adore this one! Readers, myself included, will not be letting this book go into any used book stores. NO! This one is a Keeper! Author, Julie Kenner, even adds an extra little twist at the end! I loved the story! And if you have a pet cat, you will never quite look at him/her the same way again!" Huntress Book Reviews

"In the glorious tradition of the age-old take of “The Little Mermaid,” The Cat’s Fancy is a delightful, light-hearted romantic tale full of adventure and a whole lot of fun. Julie Kenner is a gifted writer who is sure to please her fans and win over a whole legion of new readers with this enthralling tale. A writer that is undoubtedly on her way straight for the top!" New-Age Bookshelf

Francis Award (1st Place, Paranormal category)

The Texas Gold (1st Place, Long Contemporary category)

Dorothy Parker Award of Excellence (2nd Place, paranormal category)

Prism Award (2nd Place, Futuristic & Fantasy category)

THE CAT'S FANCY - excerpt


Click here to order the book.

There are people in this world who believe in magic, who search for the possibility in their daily lives. With awe, they open fortune cookies hoping for an omen, and turn over stones searching for fairies. They avoid sidewalk cracks, the thirteenth floor, and the underside of ladders. Secretly, they believe that Darren was an idiot for not letting Samantha give his career a boost, and hold fast to the conviction that if they keep combing beaches they'll find Barbara Eden in a bottle. To these people, love is just as magical as a unicorn in your driveway. Nicholas Goodman was not one of these folks. It didn't matter. Maggie found him anyway.

PROLOGUE



"This is what you want?" Old Tom teetered in the crook of the juniper tree, peering down at her with his one good eye.

Maggie pictured her Nicholas. Perfect Nicholas. She didn't hesitate. "Yes."

Old Tom cocked his head so that his bad eye, the one covered with the grey-green film, appeared to focus on her. Maggie stood fast. They said he could see deep with that eye, he just couldn't see the world. Well, let him look. She had nothing to hide. Nothing to fear, and everything to gain.

As far as she knew, no one had ever asked to do, had never even considered trying, what she wanted. Certainly no one had the gall to come to Old Tom for help. But she wasn't going to flinch. She wanted this. So much she could feel it in her stomach. So desperately she couldn't sleep for thinking about it.

If it couldn't be done, so be it. But if it could ... well, Old Tom would know how. Or he could find a way.

"You would do this for love?"

She raised her chin. "Yes."

"You understand the consequences? What you would be giving up?"

Consequences? She was asking to be human. Wasn't that consequence enough? Could there be more? "I haven't ... I don't ..."

"Your life. It is quite fine now, no?"

Everything except for not having Nicholas. "Yes."

"You are very young --"

"I'm almost --"

"and this is only your first life. Humans get only one, you know."

"With him, one would be a blessing. Without him, eight more would be torture."

Was that compassion in his dead eye? She wanted to look more closely, to explore the enigma, but just then he lifted his head to snarl at a mockingbird cackling at them from the branches above. When he turned back, the eye was flat. Emotionless.

"This love of yours that is so deep you would give up all you know ... will he return it?" His nose twitched. Could he smell her hesitation?

She turned away. "He calls me precious. He calls me sweetheart. I make him happy."

"You haven't spoken with him of this? He hasn't told you how he feels?" Old Tom blinked and the pupil in his good eye narrowed to a slit.

Maggie shrank back. "He doesn't understand me. I've tried, but he doesn't hear." How could she make Old Tom understand? She knew how Nicholas felt. He loved her. And if he didn't now, he would. Eventually, he would. He had to.

"Child, you ask the impossible of me."

She struggled to breathe as her world collapsed around her. The stories were lies. He didn't have the power. She was trapped. Trapped in her world, and Nicholas in his. She sank down to the ground, her head resting on the cool dirt, her eyes closed.

Soon Nicholas would belong to that female. And there would be nothing Maggie could do except watch and seethe. She could scratch and spit and howl and claw the furniture, but none of that would matter.

The female would get Maggie's Nicholas.

How could she have such horrible luck? "But the stories...."

"If there was a bond... if he had the hearing. But no. Without that assurance ... no, no I must not. You are special, Maggie. And I cannot risk being wrong."

Must not? She opened her eyes.

"Oh, please, please, you must. If you love me at all, you must help me."

It was unfair of her, she knew. The members of Old Tom's clan were close, and she knew he loved them all. Still, there was a special place in his heart for her. She'd never asked for favors before, and she knew that her failure to take advantage made him love her all the more. But now, now she would do anything.

"Why now?"

She looked away, ashamed that her thoughts were so vulnerable. "There is no special reason."

"Maggie ...." The compassion was back in his eye, but there was a sternness also. "I have seen the female. The one in the tall shoes. She touches him as a lover."

"They are to be married."

"Married? The bonding ritual of humans. You would interfere with this? Why?"

"He doesn't love her. He couldn't love her."

"And you? You would be a better mate? You who are not even of his species? One he does not even know exists?"

Pride straightened Maggie's spine. She lifted her chin and looked down her nose, composed and serene as a child of Ra.

Old Tom grunted. "Humph. What is it you dislike about this female? Why could he not love her?"

"She smells ... unreal." Maggie tried to search Old Tom's face without looking like she was watching him. They all trusted their noses, but Old Tom more than anyone. Maybe it was because he only had that one eye, the one that she was now desperately searching for a clue.

"If I do this thing, it will be by my rules. Do you understand?"

She nodded.

"You must choose now. Once it is done, only then will you know the rules. But before you choose, ask yourself. How well do you know his heart? How well do you know your own? Are you sure that he will love you and turn away from his female?" He squinted at her. "How do you choose?"

"I choose Nicholas."

"Then it is done."

As he spoke, she felt a tingling in her limbs, like the crackling of the air during a lightning storm, only this was inside her, ripping her apart.

Dizzy. She felt dizzy. Focus. Old Tom was speaking. Must focus.

"...not completely human ... your soul, yes ... but not your shape ... only at night ... only until All Hallow’s Eve ... By day ... yourself ... Secret ... can't reveal to Nicholas ... forfeit...all ... "

No use. She was fading. So tired, so dizzy. The sun was setting. Her legs wouldn't support her. Old Tom crouched above her, a silhouette against the full moon.

His words. Needed to understand his words.

"Maggie, child," his tone cut through the fog in her head. "He must declare his love of his own free will before your time is up. He must tell you. Or you will remain a cat, and I will be unable to help you."


CHAPTER ONE



"Maggie, here kitty, kitty. Maggie?" Nick Goodman dumped the overstuffed bag into the garbage can and took another look around his front yard. Where the hell could that cat be?

Something rustled in the brush that had taken over the vacant lot across the street. "Maggie?" He padded down his driveway, making a mess of his socks in the process, and stood on the curb facing the lot. Nothing.

"Maggie-cat?" As if waiting for his cue, a swarm of birds lifted from the junipers and oaks, flooding the purple sky.

"Nickie? Come back in the house, darling. You look like hell."

Angela's high, nasal tones accosted him and Nick cringed, then caught himself. He put on a smile and turned toward the house.

"I'm putting out the garbage, babe. I hardly think that calls for a necktie." Her eyes met his, then roamed down his body. He knew well enough what she'd see. A paint splattered t-shirt touting some band he'd never heard play, Harvard athletic shorts that always seemed on the verge of splitting but held together with a fortitude he admired, and dime-store athletic socks. Not GQ by any means, but hardly unreasonable attire for a Sunday evening.

She rolled her eyes, then leaned against a newel post wrapped in orange and black Halloween streamers and began to examine the fingernails she'd been fussing over for the last hour. Nick bit back the observation that her fire-engine red manicure didn't quite match the coordinated leggings and sweater that had probably cost more than his car payment. He didn't give a damn if she was coordinated, and the comment would only piss her off.

He turned back to the trash can. What the hell was wrong with him? This was the woman he was going to marry, after all. She was supposed to be the love of his life. Bells, whistles, fireworks and other pyrotechnics. So why was he so on edge every time she decided to stay at his place for the weekend?

Because you're used to being alone. Right. Sure. Just typical bachelor jitters. Nothing to call Dr. Ruth about.

A yellow Ferrari glided by. Nick raised one hand in greeting to his neighbor, a prep school type who'd moved to Los Angeles after making and losing a fortune in Internet stocks.

"Do you really think Robert is going to trust his next deal to an attorney who hangs out in his driveway in his underwear?"

"Angie ...," he said, knowing he shouldn’t be annoyed. She was Reggie Palmer’s daughter, after all. Killer business instincts were in her genetic code.

"I'm just saying there are certain things that you should keep in mind if you want to get ahead." She arched her brow. "If you want us to get ahead."

He glanced down the road, giving the neighborhood one last once-over. No Maggie.

"Have you seen Maggie?"

Her nose crinkled. "I haven't seen the little beast all afternoon. She's probably in the closet clawing my clothes to shreds. She hates me."

Nick cast a glance skyward. Just what he needed. A fiancée who was jealous of his pet cat. "She doesn't hate you."

Angela followed him into the house. "Oh, you're so right. I forgot. I'm the one who detests her."

"I'm not giving up my cat, Angela. Can we not go there again, please?"

"I didn't say a word, sweetie. Really. I'm sure little snookie wookums is around her somewhere. She'll turn up. She always does. Usually when it's most inconvenient." She flashed him her trademark smile, the one that had practically brought him to his knees the first time they'd met. "Speaking of, do you want me to stay the night?"

"Whatever you want," he said, hoping she'd go back to her place.

"Can we go out to dinner?"

He shook his head and gestured to the pile of SEC filings and other equally dry documents stacked neatly on the coffee table. "Can't. Work."

Angela tapped one of her nails. "All dry. I think I'm going to run, then, sweetheart."

"Sorry if my livelihood annoys you. You liked it just fine when we went to Paris." He immediately regretted opening his mouth. It was a tacky thing to say, true, but mostly he feared she'd change her mind and stay over just to prove him wrong. It wasn't that he didn't love her. Of course he did. He'd agreed to get married, hadn't he? He just liked having his space, wanted to enjoy it while he could.

She planted a quick kiss on his cheek, then rubbed the lipstick off with the edge of her thumb. "Ah-ah," she warned, but there was a tease in her voice, "don't play high and mighty with me. You know you want me to leave. Poor Nickie just hates when his routine is upset. I never thought there was anything in the world that could ruffle the great Nicholas Goodman's feathers. At least not until I saw how you reacted when I left my pantyhose drying on your shower rod."

"Angela--"

"Now, I'm not criticizing. I think it's adorable. And wouldn't Daddy think it's a hoot. His fireball deal-maker, his secret weapon, brought to his knees by control top pantyhose and a jar of face cream. You're going to have to get over that after the wedding."

"Angela, of course you can stay. Really --"

She just threw him that I-know-you-better-than-you-think-I-do smirk, grabbed her purse and headed for the door. Nick didn't try to talk her into staying, and when he saw her turn off his street and onto Laurel Canyon, he felt more relaxed than he had in hours. Maybe that made him a bad person, but the truth of it was, other than her drop-dead good looks, Angela Palmer wasn't exactly warm and fuzzy either.

Hell, they deserved each other.

He wiped his hands on the beleaguered Harvard shorts and wondered what the hell had happened to him in the nine years since law school. No, he didn't really wonder. The answer was plain enough. Youthful idealism and a belief that he could somehow make the world a better place had been trampled like a bug trying to cross a highway at rush hour.

He shoved the melancholy aside and took another look around the neighborhood. No Maggie. Now it was after dark, after her supper-time. She so rarely ventured outside that he couldn't blame her for wanting to do a little carousing, but now her whole schedule would be screwed up. She'd probably be jumping all over his bed, wanting to play, when all Nick wanted to do was sleep.

"Maggie? Here, kitty. Maggie!" he shouted, knowing it pissed off the neighbors, but not in the mood to care. After watching the lot across the street for any sign of her, he pulled the door shut. He wouldn't worry yet. He'd do that if she hadn't shown up by midnight.

Work beckoned from the living room, and he planted himself on the couch, planning on reading over the stack on the corner of the coffee table. To Angela's credit, she'd left the house exactly as she found it. She'd even straightened the magazines so that the edges were square and had picked up the wine glasses they'd left on the back patio.

He couldn't help but smile. Yes indeed, Angela was great. Smart, beautiful, well-connected. The perfect wife for an up-and-coming lawyer.

He'd told Hoop the same thing not two weeks ago and, in typical Hooper fashion, Hoop had told him that he was justifying a bad deal he was going to regret. That was the problem with Hoop. He always said exactly what was on his mind. And just because he was often right, didn't mean he was on the mark about this.

This time Nick was doing what was right. Settling down, getting married. And getting a good wife in the process. The fact that marrying Angela would lock in what was already sure to be a successful career was little more than a perk.

The phone rang and he said another thank-you to the powers that be. Angela had left the phone in the cradle, exactly where it was supposed to be. One of the few women he'd ever dated who did that.

He scooped up the hand set, expecting it to be her on the cellular.

"Hey man, the Ice Queen leave?" It was Hoop.

"Last time I checked, she was still going by Angela."

"No shit? Well, I'll tell you a little secret. I just call her Icey to piss you off." He paused, and Nick could hear him take a swig of something, probably a beer, and exhale loudly into the phone. "Ah, I thought I saw her perky little I'm-a-daddy's-girl Beemer slip past my place a few minutes ago. Can't believe she's leaving a birthday boy all alone."

"That's not until tomorrow, and she hasn't mentioned it."

"Then you're in for it."

"You know this for a fact? She invited you?"

"Are you crazy? She thinks I'm the spawn of Satan. It's just when a chick doesn't mention your birthday, that can only mean she's pulling out all the stops. Either she's taking you some place amazing and you're gonna get laid, or she's throwing a surprise party and you're stuck with fifty people you avoid all year wandering through your house making small talk. Considering it's Miss An-gee-la we're talking about, I'd say either way you're pretty much screwed. So," he paused, "wanna come over for a beer?"

"I'm working."

"Bullshit, man. You're always working. One beer won't slow you down. Besides, you got me sucked into this mess, too, and I've got some news to report."

Some news? Now that could be interesting. Hoop might be crude and offensive and generally despised by women the world over, but he was a damn good investigator. If Nick managed to pull off the Vision Entertainment deal, no small part of it would be because he had some heavy-duty ammo tucked away. Heavy ammo he hoped Hoop could lay hands on.

"What have you got?"

"I'll tell you about it when you get here. Phone lines. Let's just say we all get by with a little help from our friends."

So Hoop had someone on the inside. That was good. If the scoop was juicy, well, who knew how far Nick could milk that? Reggie Palmer would be thrilled, and some of that goodwill would likely rub off on his future son-in-law. And that meant Nick could walk away with a hefty year-end bonus in a couple of months, not to mention making partner.

"You've talked me into it. One beer." He hung up and headed for the bedroom. It never got too cold in Los Angeles, even in late October, but there was a definite chill in the air, and he tugged on the sweat pants that he'd left hanging on the hook inside his closet door. He folded the shorts and placed them back in the drawer, straightened the magazines on his bedside table, then noticed Angela's fingernail polish and manicure tools scattered along the window ledge above the bed.

He ignored the rising irritation. He'd have to get used to sharing his personal space. He could do it. He could leave the miniature nail salon.

Purposefully not looking back, he headed into the narrow hallway between the bedroom and his study. He managed to grab a hooded fleece jacket from the hall closet, and then pass through the living room without giving in to the urge to head back to the bedroom. When he reached the front door, his resolve melted. He trotted back to the bedroom, shoved the paraphernalia into the drawer of his bedside table, and returned to the entrance hall.

"Nick, you're a basket case. Nail polish and emery boards aren't going to rock your world."

He was right.

A second later he opened the front door and saw her standing there. An exotic vision of a woman with close-cropped raven black hair and probing green eyes.

And not a single stitch of clothing.

That was when his world really began to spin out of control.


CHAPTER TWO


The first thought that went through Nick's head was that he was dreaming. The second, that he had died and gone to heaven. But since he didn't remember any pain, tripping over anything, or otherwise meeting his demise, he abandoned that theory. No, there was only one explanation for finding a naked woman on his doorstep at twilight on the eve of his birthday -- somebody was playing a really wild joke on him.

And he knew who. Hoop didn't have news. He just wanted Nick to open the door and see his birthday surprise.

He pulled open the screen door and tried to grab her arm without gawking. It was more difficult than it sounded. Maybe a monk could have ignored the way her skin glowed in the light of the rising moon or the way her green eyes stayed locked, unblinking, on him. But Nick doubted it. Besides, he was no monk.

He finally managed to grab her wrist and tug her firmly inside. He shrugged out of the fleece jacket and threw it over her shoulders. She stared at him for a moment, blinked, and then slipped her arms through the sleeves. Luckily, the jacket was extra large and she was extra small. It more or less consumed her.

"Didn't anyone tell you that you're supposed to wait until after the birthday boy opens the door before you strip? These mountains may have been a hippie haven during the sixties and seventies, but walking around nude up here now will get you arrested."

Not a word from his little visitor. His eyes drifted down and ... Oh, Lord, the jacket was unzipped.

Trying not to look at her or brush any of the soft skin he knew lay just beyond the zipper, he reached over, joined the zipper halves, and tugged until she was enclosed in gray fleece up to her neck.

Still, she didn't say a word, just grinned at him like the Cheshire Cat, some impish maiden who knew a secret that he didn't. Well, that was probably the case.

She opened her mouth and tilted her head forward. The bridge of her nose crinkled and her eyes squinted slightly in concentration. He waited for her to speak. And waited.

Nothing.

"Do you speak English?"

She cocked her head, but never took her eyes off him. After a couple of seconds, she nodded slowly, while her perfect white teeth worried on her lower lip. But still no words.

Nick tried again. This whole situation was exasperating. What made it truly odd was that, despite the fact that the woman wouldn't give him a clue who she was, and despite that under normal circumstances he would be throwing up his hands and throwing her out the door, here he was, urging her gently toward the sofa, one arm looped around her shoulder, like she was some poor lost creature instead of a flake who'd shown up naked on his doorstep.

Disgusted with himself, he dropped his arm. She might be Hoop's idea of a birthday bang, but Nick had work screaming at him from the living room.

Having a half-naked woman inches from him was disconcerting, to say the least. Of course, his body didn't seem to think the situation was off-the-wall. No sir. His traitorous body was happy for the opportunity to jump into these new birthday festivities.

Fat chance. He took a step back. "Look, Miss, I'm sorry if you came here for nothing."

Those big eyes held his. They were full of ... what? Wonder? Adoration? Nonsense. He'd never seen the woman before. Her mouth curved into a smile, not more than a tease, and she eased toward him. Nick's heart beat a little rhythm and blues number. His throat parched.

Another step backwards. She took another forwards. And on and on with this ridiculous dance until he'd managed to back himself up against the edge of his sofa, before falling backwards over it, Dick Van Dyke style.

As vantage points go, the couch ranked up there. His knees curved over the arm of the sofa and his back was stretched out on the seat cushions. She stood there, the picture of wide-eyed innocence, with his less than innocent eyes about even with the bottom hem of his jacket. For just a second he imagined what he would see if she lifted her arms and the jacket rose just a few inches higher.

He shifted, scooting backwards until he could maneuver himself back around into a normal sitting position. She crawled toward him, over the edge of the couch, almost stalking him, her moves agile. Cat-like. A smug smile dancing on her lips. Her eyes bright.

No question but that he was her canary. The thought didn't scare him. On the contrary, every muscle and nerve in his body felt on fire. Alive. Anticipating.

What scared him was the possibility. If he wasn't careful, Nick was afraid he might just end up having the most amazing night of his life.

And if that happened, he knew he'd regret it forever.

"Look," he began, holding up a hand, "you're probably a nice young lady, and this is all very flattering, but this is L.A., and that does mean that nut-cases make up the majority of the living, breathing population."

She crouched at the edge of the sofa, balancing on her toes, her slim, muscled thighs ready to pounce. With only the slightest hesitation, she extended her finger and batted at his knee, her fingertips tapping at his flesh before bouncing away, leaving Nick gasping at the current of pure desire that coursed up his thigh. The contact was infinitesimal. That was just as well. Any more and Nick was sure he'd die from agonizing pleasure.

Standing wasn't a possibility. Instead, he slid further down the couch. "I'd feel a lot better about this if I just knew your name. If I wasn't the only one talking. You might find this hard to believe, but strange naked women rarely jump me in my own house." Babbling. She'd reduced him to a babbling fool.

But maybe it worked. She dropped forward onto all fours and started to crawl toward him. Her mouth was open and he could almost hear a whisper.

"I can't hear you." When she said it again, he still couldn't hear, but there was no mistaking the words that formed on her mouth.

My Nicholas.

THE CAT'S FANCY - back cover copy


Click here to order the book.

Get ready for ...

The Cat's Meow -- Straight-laced Nicholas Goodman's life was going just fine. A hotshot attorney in a huge law firm, Nick had money, success, and a girlfriend whose father just happened to be his biggest client. All the aspects of his life were tucked neatly into nice little corners, just the way Nick liked it. Until he opened his door and found a completely naked, slightly befuddled, green-eyed beauty on his doorstep.

A Woman's Wish -- Maggie had found the man of her dreams--Nick Goodman. He was smart, sexy, and she knew he loved her. Maggie's only problem was ... well, she wasn't entirely human. But Maggie was determined, and through the power of love she was given a chance--and a lithe woman's body. She had one week to convince Nicholas to admit that he loved her. One week to prove that a guy like Nick could fall for "a girl like Maggie." One week to prove that a cat's fancy could be the love of a lifetime.

Sunday, February 11, 2007

The Aphrodite Series

Because I get asked this question a lot, here's the list of titles in the series:

Aphrodite's Kiss, Aphrodite's Passion, Aphrodite's Secret & Aphrodite's Flame.

The novella in A Mother's Way (Seeking Single Superhero) can be read out of order, but technically it falls second, after Kiss.

The Cat's Fancy marks the first appearance of Deena & Hoop, but it's technically not part of the series.

Sunday, February 4, 2007

THE GIVENCHY CODE - excerpt





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CHAPTER ONE

This was not my day.

First of all, it was drizzling. Which would be just fine if I were curled up on my couch watching Sex and the City or Desperate Housewives reruns. Or buying shoes on eBay. Or even working on my thesis.

But I wasn't doing any of those things. Instead I was being yanked down east 86th Street by six furballs eager to reach the dog run at Carl Shurz park. So far, both Poopsie (aptly named) and Precious (definitely not aptly named) had left little steaming presents on the sidewalk for me to retrieve with the plastic grocery bags I'd shoved into my raincoat pocket before leaving the Kirkguard Towers.

Second of all, immediately after depositing steaming package number two in a cheerfully labeled Keep Our City Clean! trash can, I ran smack into my ex, Todd. Or rather, little Daisy, Mrs. Oppenmeir's Lhasa Apso, ran smack into Todd. I managed to skirt gingerly to the right, avoiding him, but hopelessly tangling him in the six leashes.

"For God's sake, Melanie," he said. "What the hell are you doing?"

Now, see, that's one of the reasons Todd and I broke up. I mean, how hard is it to remember that I prefer Mel and hate Melanie?

And, frankly, it was perfectly obvious what I was doing. I really didn't need to be reminded. "I'm maxing out my credit for Manolos, Todd." I shook the handful of leashes at him. "What the hell does it look like I'm doing?"

"What happened to the job with Josh?" Unperturbed by my annoyance, he looked up at me from a bent-over position, talking even as he struggled to loosen the ever-tightening leash-noose. Part of me was tempted to plant the heel of my left Prada sneaker on his gluteus maximus and give a little shove. But that would upset the dogs, so I managed to stifle the urge.

"It didn't work out," I said stiffly. Right after we broke up, I became a victim of university budget cuts and lost my not-so-lucrative-but-still-handy-for-rent job as a teaching assistant. In what I'm sure Todd considered a supreme act of chivalry by the male exiting stage left in my life, he arranged for me to get a flex-time receptionist job at a tiny little public relations firm on Madison Avenue. What Todd had neglected to mention was that his friend Josh was a prick who, when he wasn't talking about my tits, filled in the conversational blanks with comments about my ass. The man clearly wasn't acquainted with Title VII and I didn't intend to be the one who introduced him.

"You could have called and told me," Todd said, picking Daisy up and lifting her over a criss-cross of nylon leashes. He shot me a look that could have been recrimination or a request for assistance. Not sure, I just stood there and shrugged.

Once I'd discovered Josh's more endearing qualities, I wasn't about to call Todd. For one, we were quite broken up by then (if we hadn't been, introducing me to Josh would have been grounds, that's for sure). For another, I like to fight my own battles. So I called him a chauvinistic, Neanderthal prick, and then quit. (Unfortunately, the name-calling was all in my head, but it made me feel better.) Then I fell back on my old stand-by of answering ads posted in the student newsletter or on the bulletin board in the grad student lounge.

I'd used this method to earn extra cash on and off since my first day on the NYU campus as a wide-eyed and innocent freshman from Texas. The results were never fabulous, but the experience was certainly varied. In addition to the wonderful world of pet care, I've also worked as a short order cook, a Circle Line ticket agent, a cocktail waitress at a restaurant with food so horrible it went out of business a mere five days after it opened. To mention just a few.

Todd always looked askance at my revolving door job situation, but so far I haven't minded (well, the dog thing is a bit much). With an undergraduate degree in math and a masters (soon!) in history, I figure I'm going to be spending the rest of my life behind a podium trying to get teenagers to listen to me upon threat of failing their mid-terms. Either that, or I'm going to be perpetually in academia, taking the degree train to Ph.D.-ville and then settling down to an assistant professorship while I try to think of something brilliant to publish so that I can snag tenure.

With all that to look forward to, is it any wonder I like a little variety in my life? Or, at least, that's what I told myself when I slogged outside this morning, ready, able, but not entirely willing to escort a group of little poop machines on their morning constitution.
The sad truth is that I flat out need the money. I'll do (almost) anything to make the rent on the tiny one bedroom I share with my roommate, Jennifer. Each month, I barely squeak by. Yet somehow, I have enough left over for shoes, cocktails, Starbucks, and food. (Yes, in that order.) Tuition, thankfully, is covered by scholarships and grants.

Beside me, Todd had finally managed to extricate himself from the web of leashes, and now the dogs were straining, their collars pulling tight around their little necks as they whined for the park. All except Gomer, who looked poised to produce another package. I winced. That's it for me. No more dog-walking. Even the adorable pair of hot pink Jimmy Choo wedge sandals I saw online at Designerexposure.com aren't worth the indignity. Not until they're marked down by at least twenty percent, anyway.

"Well," I said brightly, tugging on Gomer's leash in the hopes of distracting him. "You probably have somewhere you have to be."

"I took the day off," he said. "I've got nowhere to be."

A finger of worry snaked up my back as I squinted at him. "Did you come here looking for me?" A stupid question, really, since what are the odds I'd just happened to bump into him? I'm a math geek. Trust me. The odds aren't good.

At least he had the good grace to look sheepish. "I called your apartment. Jennifer said you might be here, and since I wanted to talk to you ..." He trailed off, flashing that endearing little smile that always got me in trouble.

I fisted my hands around the leashes and mentally dug in my heels. No, no, no. I did not want to date Todd Davidson again. But more than that, I didn't want him to broach the subject. If he asked me out, I knew I'd say yes. It's stupid, but it's my nature. Ask me to discuss Euclidean domains or couture shoes, and I'm all over it. But put me in a room with a man, and my fortitude dissolves. Sad, but so very true.

He rummaged in his shopping bag and brought out a brightly wrapped shoebox topped with a big pink bow. "I saw these and thought of you." He passed me the box, and I took it, exchanging my leashes for my present as my heart raced. "Go ahead," he said. "Open it."

I didn't. Opening it would be like tempting fate, sealing a pact in blood. Silently telling him that this was okay and that there was still a chance things could be good between us.

"Come on, Mel. It's a present, not a time bomb."

I could never resist him when he remembered to call me Mel. For that matter, I never could resist a pair of shoes ...

I used the tip of my forefinger to ease the lid off the box until I could peek inside. I saw just a hint of red and then ... OHMYGOD!

"Givenchy?" I kept a tight hold on the box as I flung my arms around him. "You bought me a pair of Givenchy pumps?" I lust after all shoes (and handbags for that matter), but in my mind, Givenchy represents the pinnacle of fashion. Givenchy is couture. After all, back in the day, Hubert de Givenchy designed practically all of Audrey Hepburn's clothes and costumes. If that's not the most amazing endorsement, I don't know what is.

Audrey may have had Breakfast at Tiffany's, but I have breakfast, lunch and dinner at Givenchy. I'll happily go out of my way to pass by 63rd and Madison, just so I can get one more look at the window display. Some day, I'm going to walk into that store and actually buy something. Until that happy day, though, I'm going to have to settle for acquiring my prizes through eBay and various online designer outlets. And, it seems, gifts from my ex.

"Put them on."

"Are you nuts? It's drizzling."

He leaned in closer, then popped an umbrella open over our heads. How suave. "At least take a closer look. See if you like them."

He didn't have to ask me twice. I slipped my hand inside the box and stroked the smooth red leather that would, soon, cup my foot. Heaven. (And probably a little pathetic, but we all have our weaknesses. Mine, like my mother before me, is shoes.)

"How are they?" he asked. From the way the corner of his mouth twitched, I think he knew the answer.

My mouth itched to say, "orgasmic," but I bit back the urge. Fabulous shoes or not, Todd was still my ex ... and I'm pretty sure that's all I wanted him to be.

"Fabulous," I said instead. "They're really great. Thank you. This is really sweet."

"You're not going to go all Emily Post on me and say you can't accept them?"

"Are you nuts?" I clutched the box tightly against my chest. "Of course I'm accepting them."

He laughed. "That's my Mel." Only, of course, I wasn't his Mel any longer. He cleared his throat. "So, um, I thought maybe we could go out later. Get a drink or something."

Ah-ha! The other shoe drops.

How pathetic did he think I was that I'd go with him just because he brought me a pair of shoes? I opened my mouth to tell him off, then heard myself say, "My parents are in town for their anniversary weekend. They're doing the whole Broadway thing, and I'm supposed to meet them for dinner before the show." Hardly the resounding no I'd been aiming for. But it was true. They'd been in town for almost a full twenty-four hours and so far our schedules just hadn't collided. Or, more accurately, my mother hadn't managed to carve out a slot for me before this evening. Since I was dying to see my dad, I really didn't want to bag.

"How about now, then? It's still early," he said in his best I'm-a-lawyer-and-argue-for-a-living voice. "Plenty of time for a martini with me and dinner with them."

I knew I should just nip this in the bud and tell him we weren't having drinks, parents or not parents. Instead, I let him down gentle. "I have to finish with the dogs, and then Jennifer and I are going shopping."

"She'll understand if you go out with me," he said.

Actually, no, she wouldn't. Being my best friend, Jennifer would strap me to the refrigerator if I told her I was about to go out with Todd, the man who'd been the subject of so many late night bitch sessions. At least I thought she would. I could be wrong about that. She did tell the man where to find me, after all.

"I promised her," I said. That was more or less the truth. When we'd first moved in together, Jenn and I had promised that we would never ditch plans with each other just because some guy asked us out. There were a variety of exceptions to this rule - the guy resembled Johnny Depp, the guy was Johnny Depp, the guy had an employee discount at Bergdorf's - but Todd didn't fall within any exception.

"You're certain? What about another time?"

I opened my mouth, hoping some clever excuse would leap to mind. Nothing. In lieu of cleverness, I just waved the leashes and said I had to get on with it before the dogs mutinied.

"I'll come with you."

"Oh. Well, okay. Sure." I figured it was only polite. The guy had bought me shoes after all. Besides, I was standing there in the drizzle with drenched dogs, droplets streaming into my face from my rain hat (no free hand for an umbrella), and not feeling altogether attractive. Maybe Todd was the best I could do. Maybe no one else in my whole life would go out of his way to buy me shoes.

More likely, I'm a wimp. And Todd knows how to push my buttons.

We started walking toward the park and, when we were about halfway there, he reached out, his pinkie brushing against my thumb. "I've missed you, Mel."

Oh, man. I should have melted at that. His tone was sincere, his expression penitent. Gifts. Soft words. The man really, truly wanted me back. And I was flattered as hell and even a little bit humbled.

What I wasn't, was interested. Which made for a rather awkward moment. The moment stretched out, finally bursting when we reached the dog run and I set the dogs free. Thank God.

I cleared my throat. "Listen, Todd..."

He held up a hand. "Just a drink. If you can't do tonight, then tomorrow." He flashed the same smile that had gotten me into his bed about fifteen months ago. "Come on, Mel. No pressure. Just alcohol."

"With us, there's no such thing as just alcohol," I said.

His grin reflected all the nights that proved my point, and I felt my resolve waver. My phone rang, and I snatched it open, grateful for the interruption. My mom. "Hi, Mom. I was just talking to a friend about meeting you guys tonight."

"Well, I hope it won't inconvenience you if we take a rain check for tomorrow." A statement, not a question, with no room for argument on my part.

"Oh." I licked my lips. "I was really hoping to see daddy. And you."

She didn't even bother to muffle her sigh of exasperation. "For goodness sake, Melanie. Whose vacation is this? It turns out that one of your father's old classmates lives on Long Island, and he's going to join us for dinner before the theater. Surely you wouldn't want us to miss the chance to get reacquainted with an old friend?"

Ever think about getting reacquainted with your only daughter?

I wanted to say it. I really, really wanted to say it.

Instead, I said, "Sure mom." I plastered on a bright smile. Shrinks everywhere said that if you smiled even though you were depressed or angry, your mood would shift to match your expression. I waited a beat, testing that theory. Nope. No change.

"Good."

"So, um, what time tomorrow?"

"Good Lord, child, I don't know. We'll call you after we get up. Really, I don't know how you ever became so regimental."

"Me neither," I said, picturing the rows and rows of calendars in our Houston house, each entry color coded to correspond with some society function my mom had going on at any particular moment.

"Well, that's that, then. We love you, sweetie."

Since I hadn't thrown a fit and messed up her plans, suddenly I was golden again. "Love you, too, mom."

And the truth was, I did.

But she still drove me absolutely fucking nuts.

Todd reached out and took my hand. "My invitation still stands."

Bless the man. He'd soothed me through many a parental rough spot during the time we were together, so I was quite sure he'd comprehended the entire conversation even though he'd only heard my half.

"Thanks," I said.

"So you'll come?" His grin broadened, both devilish and inviting, and suddenly the reasons we'd gotten together were much more prominent in my mind than the reasons we'd broken up. I was weakening, and I knew it. I grabbed hold of the metal fencing that marked the dog run. "I just don't think --"

"Melanie Lynn Prescott?"

Saved by a stranger. I whirled around to face the voice behind me, then gasped and took a step backward. Todd's hand closed on my shoulder, and I didn't shrug it off.

Books always describe men as dark and dangerous, and now I know what that means. The man standing in front of me was positively gorgeous in a way that made me want to touch him and run from him, all at the same time. Total eye-candy, with coal black hair and a movie star jawline.

I almost moaned -- okay, maybe I did moan -- but I stifled the sound quick enough. Swallowed it actually, and then was even more grateful for Todd's hand on my shoulder. There was something about the stranger's eyes. They seemed cruel and hollow and, without any reason at all, they scared me to death.

"You are Miss Prescott?" he said.

"Oh, yes, me, right." The man's voice was like honey. If it wasn't for those eyes ...

"And who are you?" That from Todd, still behind me.

"I have a delivery for you," Mystery Man said, ignoring Todd. He took a step toward me, then held out a manila envelope.

"What is it?" I asked.

He smiled, but the gesture didn't seem to fit his face. "I couldn't say. I'd suggest you open it." He touched a finger to his brow as if tipping an imaginary hat, then he turned and walked away, leaving me holding the envelope and feeling more than a little perplexed.

I frowned, my brow crinkling in a manner that really isn't my best look. Too curious to wait until I got back home, I slipped a finger under the flap and ripped the envelope open. Inside was a thick piece of brown paper that looked like it was torn from a grocery bag. I pulled it free and immediately saw the markings. Totally cool.





Okay, I'm a geek, but I confess I was a little giddy. I had no idea why someone had sent me a coded message, but whoever it was knew me well. My B.S. is in math with a minor in history. That surprises most people. Apparently math majors are supposed to be surgically attached to their calculators and wear plastic pocket protectors. It's an irritating stereotype. Like saying blondes have more fun. I'm blonde, and believe me, that's one old adage that simply doesn't hold true. (I will say, though, that even when the hair falls short, the math comes in surprisingly handy. Take parties, for example. Whenever the conversation gets slow, I can amaze and astound the other revelers with fractals, Fibonacci numbers and Smullyan's logic games. In those situations, I really am the life of the party.)

Now that I'm working on my masters, I've switched the focus to history. My thesis is on the derivation and primary characteristics of codes and ciphers used by prevailing nations during wartime. (And yes, I realize that's way too broad. I've already had that conversation with my advisor, thank you very much.)

The point is, the coded message on the thick brown paper really was right up my alley. If the sender was a guy, I was already half in love.

"Somebody knows you well, Mata Hari," Todd said, referring to his pet name for me. He latched onto it after our first date, when he learned about my fascination with the Enigma machine along with my rampant lust for all things footwear. I told him I'd rather be Sydney Bristow, but he never took the hint.

Todd took the sheet from my hand and turned it over, examining it. "So who's it from?"

I blinked, then examined the envelope for a return address. Nothing. "No idea. Weird, huh?" And it really was weird, no doubt about that. But something about the whole situation -- the messenger, the coded message -- seemed oddly familiar.

"Probably an invitation to a party. Like a MENSA thing. If you're clever enough to break the code, then you get the address. I bet Warren sent it. That's right up his alley, isn't it?"

I shrugged. "Maybe." Warren is both a character and my sometimes study buddy. Less so now that I've moved to the history department and he's working on his Masters in mechanical engineering. Or he says he is. Sometimes I think all Warren does is sit in his apartment, listen to obscure music by bands I've never heard of and work his puzzles. "His thing is crosswords and anagrams," I said. "He was never really into codes."

"So it's someone else. Or he sent it to amuse you. Or maybe it's from some super secret spy agency and they're trying to recruit you. If you figure it out in time, you're in the agency and they'll pack you on a plane for your first mission."

I shot him a drop it look. Todd is one of the few people who knows I secretly lust after a cool job doing cryptology on a day to day basis. But those jobs are few and far between. I've printed out the job applications for the NSA on more than one occasion, but I always seem to toss them without filling them in. It all seems so unlikely. I mean, I'm about as average as they come, and I couldn't really see me doing code-breaking for the government, even as much as I'd like to. And the thought of applying and getting rejected was downright depressing. Most likely, I'll end up teaching history to seventh graders. Oh, the joy.

"Well, I'm sticking with my invitation theory. One of your friends is having a party. And knowing you, you'll get to the bash years before anyone else."

"Thanks," I answered, looking at him with a new respect. He'd never much complimented my brains, being much more interested in the softer, rounder parts of my body. So it was a welcome surprise to learn that maybe he'd seen more in me than I'd given him credit for.

"So tonight, then?"

I nodded. Why not? He'd bought me shoes, he'd complimented my brain, and now he wanted to buy me a drink. If I didn't already know he was all wrong, I'd say he was the perfect man.

"Great." He snatched the envelope and code from my hand.

"Hey!"

"Collateral," he said with a mischievous grin. "Just so you don't change your mind and back out of our date. Come by around six."

"Todd, don't you dare …" But he was already gone, waving at me as he headed back the way we'd come. And what could I do? I was stuck there with the dogs and he knew it. By the time I gathered them up, he'd be long gone.

Sometimes that man could be so infuriating.

I was still fuming when I realized the rain had stopped. I checked the dogs, quickly seeing that they were a little muddier around the paws than I would have liked, but that was okay.

Actually, right then, pretty much everything was okay despite Todd's ridiculous posturing. I'd received an entirely cool encrypted message that might be from a secret admirer. (I can dream.) I now owned a stunning pair of this season's Givenchy shoes. And to top it off, the sun was beginning to peek out past the gray wisps of cloud fluff.

No doubt about it, the gods were smiling on me. Today, at least, I ranked as one of the chosen few.

And you know what? That felt pretty damn good.

THE GIVENCHY CODE - reviews







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WINNER, NATIONAL READER'S CHOICE AWARD, Best Mainstream, 2004

ROMANTIC TIMES TOP PICK

"A fabulously fun heroine with a math-geek's mind and a passion for fashion outwits and outplays a ruthless killer in the latest ingenious literary creation from Kenner, whose sharp sense of wit is the perfect accessory for this chic blend of chick lit and thriller." - Booklist

"a fantastic, sexy, fast read, full of intrigue, humor, and murder." - Reader to Reader Reviews

"Did you enjoy 'The Da Vinci Code'? Then you simply MUST read this! Do you love thriller novels that keep you glued to the pages? Then you simply MUST read this!" - Huntress Book Reviews

THE GIVENCHY CODE - back cover copy



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As if a recent break-up, scrounging for rent money, and lusting after designer shoes weren't enough to make graduate student Melanie Prescott's life challenging, suddenly she's practically living The DaVinci Code. A mysterious stranger is sending obscure codes and clues her way and she soon discovers she has to solve them in order to stay alive. With stakes like that, her dissertation on "the derivation and primary characteristics of codes and ciphers used by prevailing nations during wartime" is looking a little less important than it was yesterday. Right now she's just worrying about living to see tomorrow. The only bright spot in the whole freakish nightmare is Matthew Stryker, the six-foot tall dark and handsome stranger who's determined to protect her. Well, that and the millions of dollars that will be her reward if she survives this deadly game. And she'd better survive. Because that's a heck of a lot of money to be able to spend on shoes and handbags and sunglasses and dresses, and, well, it's hard to be fashionable when you're dead.

THE GIVENCHY CODE - readers' group discussion questions





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READERS' GROUP DISCUSSION QUESTIONS (Caution! Contains Some Spoilers!)

What do you think about the way the various codes were incorporated into the story? Did you try to solve the codes yourself before reading to see how Mel & Stryker managed? If so, were you successful? If not, did that inhibit your enjoyment of the story?



Are you familiar with the Enigma machine? What do you know of it's history? What do you know about the history of codes and cryptology during various wars? Did the book make you want to learn more?



What did you think of the romance between Mel and Stryker?



What did you think of the relationship between Mel and her parents?



With regard to "who did it," do you think there's a bad guy bigger than Lynx? If so, who? Do you think Todd was involved or an innocent victim?



What did you think of the New York locations? Have you been to any of them? Does the story make you want to go? (Hint, most of the locations are real, though some are altered for purposes of the story).



Have you ever taken a tour of New York? Do you think you could "survive" a scavenger hunt through your own home town.



What kind of shopping spree would you go on if you won millions of dollars? Would you go on a spree?



Are you looking forward to the next books in the series? (THE MANOLO MATRIX (March 2006) and THE PRADA PARADOX (tentative, spring 2007)

Saturday, February 3, 2007

NOBODY DOES IT BETTER - reviews & awards

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"Smart, fast-paced and sexy.
A novel of both deceit and delight."
Bestselling author Sharon Sala

"Kenner has a way with dialogue; her one-liners are funny and fresh. Her comic timing is beautiful, almost Jennifer Crusie-esque." Candy Tan for All About Romance

"Julie Kenner has a winner here. I literally could not put this book down. I gobbled it up and can't wait for more books!" Kathy's Faves and Raves

"In fact, this is one fantasy adventure you are going to adore. I devoured it in one sitting. Your heart and other unmentionable parts are going to be going up in flames - wowie! This story is red-hot and wonderful. Ms. Kenner's debut novel sets the stage for more glorious stories to come. I can't wait!" --- Suzanne "What I Wouldn't Pay to Take Just One Elevator Ride with Devin. Then again at my age it might be the end of me. Oh, well, at least I'd die happy!" Coleburn

"Ms. Kenner makes the art of kissing take on a life of its own in NOBODY DOES IT BETTER. It's such a divinely written book." Suzanne Coleburn, The Belles & Beaux of Romance

First Place, New Jersey Romance Writers' Put Your Heart in a Book Contest, 1998, under working title, INVENTING ALEXANDER

First Place, Tampa Area Romance Authors' First Impressions Contest, 1998, under working title, INVENTING ALEXANDER

Second Place, Monterey Millennium Contest, for books with a publication date in the year 2000

Wednesday, January 31, 2007

NOBODY DOES IT BETTER - excerpt

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"You need a man."

"Rachel!" Paris Sommers choked on her wine and scrunched lower into the booth. She would have preferred a quiet slide into oblivion, but since that wasn't possible, poor posture would have to suffice.

"I'm serious," Rachel continued. "All we need to do is find you an able-bodied male. You use him for one night. Bingo. Problem solved. Just pick one, already."

Paris scanned the dimly lit Irish pub nestled in the heart of Manhattan. Thankfully, most of the patrons seemed uninterested, studying their pints instead. Some looked up, but then laconically turned away. Only a nearby waiter seemed even the slightest bit intrigued, and Paris caught his eye before he turned back to gathering dirty glasses from an adjacent table.

Pulling herself up, Paris leaned over the polished tabletop until she was nose to nose with Rachel. "Let's lay off the men talk, okay?" She cast a meaningful glance toward the waiter. "People might misunderstand."

"Afraid he'll think you're looking to get laid?"

"Stop it," hissed Paris, knowing he must have overheard. Sure enough, his head tilted just a little so he could watch them. Despite the shadows, Paris swore she saw the hint of a smirk playing at the corner of his mouth as he moved away to wipe down another table.

The muted lighting prevented her from getting a good look at him, but what she could see, she liked. Strong features, a nice smile and just a hint of charisma. Well, that figured. A gorgeous guy looks her way and she's having a ridiculous conversation about getting laid.

She frowned. Rachel Dean might have been her best friend since kindergarten, and her literary agent for the past six years, but she could still be a royal pain.

"Come on, Paris. Half your characters parade around in tiny bikinis on the arms of virile government agents. You'd think I could say "laid' without you blushing."

"That's why they call it fiction."

"Yet another reason you really do need a man."

"Unlike some people, I have standards."

Rachel pointed to herself and raised her eyebrows.

"Moi? I have standards. Male. That's a standard."

Paris rolled her eyes. Rachel might not be a saint, but she was still a far cry from the sophisticated, experienced vixen she tried so hard to appear to be. "Maybe so, but the mere existence of a Y-chromosome doesn't do it for me." She wanted more. A lot more.

"No. You want Alexander. What would you do if he walked through that door? You'd jump him and have your wicked way with him right in front of us law-abiding bar patrons."

Paris felt the telltale warmth of a blush creep up the back of her neck. Rachel knew her far too well.

"Au contraire, my friend," she said, trying to cover. "I'm much too refined." She pushed her hair out of her eyes and smiled sweetly. "The floor's way too hard."

Rachel downed the last of her beer. "Got news for you, kiddo. It ain't gonna happen. And meantime, your diaphragm's collecting cobwebs."

"Of course it's not happening, because I am not waiting for Alexander," Paris insisted, adding a little extra emphasis, more for herself than for Rachel. Hadn't she told herself over and over to let go of the fantasy that someone as delicious as Alexander would suddenly sweep her off her feet?

Trouble was, Alexander was a rare breed, a hard man to give up. Sophisticated, yet witty. Cold as steel to his enemies. Hot as molten lava with his lover. Fiercely loyal, utterly sexy. A man with the poise of a prince and the coolness of an assassin, Alexander could melt a woman's heart with a well-placed look.

Paris closed her eyes and sighed. No matter how much she wanted him next to her, Alexander was not going to miraculously appear. Not in person. Not in the flesh.

Hadn't she dated enough men to know that?

She took another sip of wine, then studied the deep red liquid. It was just as well, really. She knew exactly what she wanted out of life, had it all mapped out, in fact. Alexander was too suave, too cool, too dangerous to be part of the respectable suburban life she'd get around to eventually.

She twirled the stem of her wineglass between her fingers. True, there was a part of her"a tiny but persistent part"that prodded her to cut loose, to take a walk on the wild side. To get out there and squeeze the Charmin at least once.

She'd struggled hard to keep that part under control, and she didn't intend to blow it. A man like Alexander would throw a real kink into her carefully thought out plans. So it was for the best that he'd never appeared on her doorstep.

At least, that's what she kept telling herself.

Rachel leaned back in the booth and snorted. "Well, if you're not waiting for an Alexander to sweep you off your feet, then what the devil are you waiting for?"

"Nothing. I date. I date nice men, the right kind of men." Men who did absolutely nothing for her. No heart pounding. No toes curling. No…anything.

"The kind Daddy would approve of? Let me give you a clue, my friend. You date boring men. And you don't even do that very often. Actually, considering the men I've seen you go out with, it's just as well your diaphragm's a little dusty."

She glared at Rachel. "For your information, I don't even own one."

"Maybe you should. You need a little adventure in your life."

Paris wasn't about to confess that she'd been thinking almost that very thing. "I have adventure. I'm practically drowning in adventure." What she really wanted was passion. Just one taste of the stomach-churning, kneeswobbling, lose-all-control kind of passion she imagined with Alexander. One moment of reality to fuel her imagination and tide her over for the rest of her life.

"You've got adventure, sure. But it's in your head. I'm talking reality."

"You're talking nonsense," Paris said, more harshly than she intended. "Could we get back on track? I didn't force myself onto a plane, leave my goldfish with a neighbor, and come all the way from Texas for Introduction to Dating 101." She took the last gulp of wine and leaned back, then saw the cute waiter out of the corner of her eye, staring right at her. And soaking up every word.

Great. Just great. When his smirk transformed into a fullblown smile, the heat in her cheeks rose in proportion to his expanding grin. Her stomach lurched as mortification swept over her. Half of her wanted to ask him out just to show Rachel up. Her more practical half wanted to scold him for eavesdropping on a rather embarrassing conversation.

She chose a middle ground. "Could you bring us some water?"

"Sure thing." His deep voice held just enough of a New York accent to add flair without stealing attention from the rest of him. As he leaned over to clear their empty glasses, Paris inhaled his cinnamon-musk scent, a nice contrast to the smell of beer and tobacco that wafted through the pub. The dark stubble on his face contrasted with honey-colored waves to give him a wild, bohemian quality. His hair was the kind a woman's fingers, and her kisses, could get lost in.

His profile danced on the edge of her memory, just inches out of reach. Why did he seem so familiar? She knew she'd never seen him before, yet his appearance called to her. His features were angular, with high cheekbones and a well-defined jawline. The tip of his nose bent just a little, as if broken in a reckless youth.

He moved away, weaving his way through the tables. Then it hit her"that chiseled face, the sensual mouth, his bad-boy-playing-at-respectable air. Could it really be?

"Waiter!" she called, desperate for another look. When he turned and stepped into the light, Paris quelled a gasp. She'd been right. In her mind, she could picture every line, every angle, every contour of Alexander's face. Except for the dark blond hair, this waiter could be Alexander's twin.

"Miss?"

With a start, she realized she'd been staring, her mouth hanging open like an idiot. At least she'd refrained from drooling.

She grappled for something to say, then noticed the empty bowl that had earlier held cashews. "Um…could we also get something to nibble on?"

Her cute waiter nodded. "No problem."

Devin O'malley tried to get a grip on himself. He rarely noticed women. For years he'd been too immersed in his business to bother. Of course, that didn't stop the women from noticing him, and if they made the first move, Devin had no qualms about reciprocating. He'd entertained plenty like the brunette named Rachel, in and out of his bed, usually converting their casual talk about sex into low-pitched moans and desperate pleas once the lights went out.

Yet he'd never once experienced such a tug of pleasure just from watching a woman like the petite blonde with the deep brown eyes. And it had been ages since he'd puzzled over how to ask a perfect stranger out on a date.

But he was wondering about how to ask this one. Paris. The name seemed to fit, even though she lacked the exotic appearance he'd expect to accompany that name. She wasn't a classic beauty. Each of her features, standing alone, boasted some flaw. Brown doe-eyes spaced a little too far apart, untamed eyebrows a shade darker than her neatly pinned golden curls, a nose that was just a little crooked, a too-small mouth that didn't do justice to the perfectly shaped, full lips.

Empirically, her features were flawed. As a whole, her face was striking. It had certainly struck Devin. She was every fantasy he'd ever had rolled into one woman. And then some.

Her friend said she needed a man. Well, he intended to apply for the job.

copyright 2000, 2007 Julie Kenner

NOBODY DOES IT BETTER - back cover

First issued February 2000, reissued February 2007.

Book Description
For author Paris Sommers, truth has become stranger than fiction. she's fallen in love with a man who exists only in her mind—a man she invented as a pseudonym for the fast-paced, testosterone-laden spy novels she writes. Now the man of her dreams is standing beside her, touching her, loving her.— But who is he?

Bar owner Devin O'Malley wanted Paris the first moment he saw her. And he was willing to do just about anything to get her—including becoming novelist Montgomery Alexander, but his deception worked too well. Before long, he'd stolen his way into Paris's bed and into her heart. Was she in love with Devin—or the fantasy he portrayed?



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